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My son sees his dad behind my back


Dear Bunmi,

A long time ago, I fell in love with a man who moaned that all his wife gave him were female children.

He already had three and was desperate for a son, it was a poor excuse for getting involved with him but I loved him.


In time, I got pregnant and had the son he desperately wanted and he was over the moon.

Then his wife found out about me and he dropped me like a hot potato.

I was only a clerk then and found it difficult to make ends meet.

Luckily, my company encouraged staff to take professional examinations and I did very well and got a better position in the office. I got married and I had two other boys.

My first son is now in the university and has been seeing his dad behind my back.

He knew the agony and humiliation I went through when he rejected us both, but now he says his father wants to be relevant in his life and has agreed to refund all the money I spent on him!

The coward that he is, why isn’t he telling me to my face what he now intends to do? My son is the only male child he has as his wife gave him two more girls!

Amaka by e-mail.


Dear Amaka,

The disappointment you had with the father of your first son took place a long time ago.

You have moved on and have been successful enough to take full care of him and your other children.

Although your son has a step father, he’s entitled to a relationship with his biological father.

It is quite natural to feel resentful but your son’s interest in his dad is natural and you should be pleased that he now has a sort of rapport with his father.

The man has obviously seen the errors of his ways and your revenge really is that you made a man of your son with no help at all from him.


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