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I put my studies on hold for him

Dear Bunrni,

I recently turned 20. Last year, I decided not to go to university outside my state, so I could stay with my boyfriend who’s a year older.

Now I keep wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake. I’m still happy with him, but this year, he’s applying to university. He wants to go, but says he’ll only go if I move there with him!

I don’t want to break up with him, but this just feels like I’m following him around. What do you think?

Abey, by e-mail.

Dear Abey,

Why is this all about him? What do you want? I think you have to be careful about the decisions you make at your age.

You don’t want to look back in a few years’ time and regret not taking up your place at university. I think both of you should have the opportunity to follow your dreams and you should both apply for university.

If the two of you are so determined to stay together, you’ll find a way of making it work by seeing each other during the holidays and at weekends. If you simply follow him wherever he goes, you’ll end up resenting him because you’re not doing what you really want to do in life. And, ultimately, your relationship will break down anyway.

Talk to your parents and get their input. Talking things through can really put things in perspective and help make decisions that are right for you.

 


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