By Bunmi Sofola

YOU have often been told that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Your man’s had his favourite meal and drink as usual, and it is time to take things to the bedroom. Like most women, you quite rightly expect a passionate end to such an evening.

But these days, it seems a lot of women are likely to get a lot less than they hoped for. Instead of a romp, they find themselves lying in frustration and listening to their men’s snores. So where has all the action gone?

This shocking role reversal where it’s the men begging off sex is becoming too common. And experts believe it’s going to get worse!

According to one of these experts: “There’s been a 40 per cent rise in the number of men saying they have gone off sex. Such complaints were unheard of some ten years ago, but today, almost half the men I counsel claim that sex leaves them cold. Men used to come to us with impotence problems but we now have a lot of men who say, as women did in the 50s: ‘I can have sex, but I don’t want to. It’s not rewarding.’

“These men tend to be in their 30s, 40s and 50s and married. They haven’t simply gone off their partner, but off sex altogether.” So what’s going on? According to Janet Scqles, a counsellor, “A lot of men tell us they’ve lost their sex drive. When you ask them what’s going on in their lives, they may list six or seven really big, stressful events.

This kind of pressure will override desire every time. Men rarely talk about their relationships let alone their problems in the bedroom. We have the longest working hours in this country coupled with stressful traffic problems. These make for a stressful life. Stress can build up eventually. People find it impossible to switch off and relax.

“Man is still worrying about work when he should be getting in the mood, sex simply is not going to happen. And the credit crunch is likely to make things worse. It’s getting too bad now that men feel they need to come out in the open and talk more. They are no longer able to bury it as they have done in the past…”