A new research reveals believing you have more sex than your neighbours is a crucial factor in making couples happy. But do you really? Is that young twenty something high-flier having more sex than a sixty-something entrepreneur.
Natasha is an up-and-coming film producer in her late 20s. She vowed that: “The next time I have sex will be on my wedding night.
I’m not seeing anyone, and I’ve no idea if that wedding will ever happen, but until then, I’m going to be celibate.
“I’m not doing this for religious or moral reasons, but I want to abstain from sex to protect my very bruised and fragile heart. I only wished I could go back in time and erase my last sexual encounter – it was about four years ago with a man who promised me the world – then dumped me as soon as we’d slept together.
He certainly bid his time – waiting to ask me to a proper dinner on our fifth date. By this time, there was so much chemistry fizzing between us that, caught up in the moment, we made a mad dash to his bachelor pad for the night, where we had sex and talked till dawn.
“By the time we kissed good-bye, I was already yearning for our next night together. But when we spoke on the phone later in the day, he teased me for being too keen to get a hold on him. After that, he became increasingly difficult to get hold of.
Then he stopped returning my calls. I felt humiliated, hurt and furious. Obviously, all those sugary words were just to get one into bed. So, rather than be duped again, I vowed that the next man I would have sex with would be someone who loves and respects me enough to make me his wife.
“I’m not a prude, nor am I particularly religious. By age 18, I’d already lost my virginity to my first boyfriend after we’d been together for several months.
I’ve had nine sexual partners and everyone of them – my longest relationship lasted three years – broke my heart. I think sex itself is overrated, but giving it up hasn’t been easy because I miss the cuddles, kisses and emotional intimacy that accompany it. Being an attractive woman has only added to the challenge because I do get a lot of male attention.
“Although I’ve been on dates with men in the past four years, once I tell them my intention to wait till I get married to have sex again, I don’t see them for dust. Sometimes I question whether I’ll meet anyone with this level of patience and commitment, but I won’t have sex again until I do”.
Augusta, 57, is a PA to a company managing director. “I made love four and a half years ago, and have fond memories of the last time it happened”, I bragged. My lover was a gorgeous Afro-American businessman who worked briefly with my boss.
We’d met several times socially with my boss but as the chemistry between us sizzled he invited me to dinner at his hotel, then we went to his room. Over the coming months, we slept together whenever he was in Nigeria, but I knew when we made love that final time four and a half years ago that it
would probably be the last. His new posting was to the Middle East, making our paths unlikely to cross again. What I did not imagine is that my sex life would cease altogether.
“Since losing my virginity at 15, I’ve had roughly 50 sexual partners, four of them before I met my husband. Sadly, my marriage broke down when our two sons were very young. After a traumatic birth with my first child, sex became increasingly painful. It was the beginning of the end. But several months after we separated, I started dating again, rediscovered the pleasure of sex and never wanted for male attention. There were men I slept with once or twice – and others I could have slept with but turned down – plus several long-term relationships lasting between two and six years and a mischievous fling with a Ghanaian prince, ten years my junior. My sons were at boarding schools, so I was able to ensure they were never exposed to the brief sexual encounters I enjoyed between my long-term relationships. Now that 60 looms, my priorities have shifted, and I’d dearly love to settle down for good with one special man.”
At 64, Ropo had a naughty glint in her eyes when she confessed she made love only the previous day! “I slipped into a gorgeous, slightly revealing blouse over well-tailored trousers, ready for a lunch date with a lovely man nine years my junior.
We met at the annual get-together of our club and have spent hours chatting on the phone between our four previous dates. He arrived to take me to lunch bearing expensive gifts and, two bottles of champagne.
As the mutual attraction and conversation gathered pace during lunch, it felt natural to invite him in to sample some of the champagne he brought “One thing led to the other and we ended up making love for the first time. It was fun, electrically charged and romantic. We spoke of our hopes that this may lead to a lasting relationship and reluctantly kissed one another goodbye in the early evening as I’d arranged to meet friends to go to a party.
“I’ve had more sex in the past ten years than I did in my happy but virtually
sexless 30-year marriage which ended 11 years ago. In fact, I’ve only properly discovered sex since then – and I told my ex-husband this when I saw him last year. There have been periods in the past ten years when I’ve been in a relationship and had sex two or three times a day. Divorce turned out to be a blessing, because my life since has been about making me happy – and that includes in the bedroom.
“When I finally slept with the third man I dated after my divorce, the prospect of revealing my fifty something body was utterly terrifying. But I needn’t have worried. Here was a man four years younger who was as concerned with pleasing me as he was with his own sexual needs!
“I have rules, though: I don’t date men more than ten years my junior, and I don’t do one-night stands, although I have had a I friend with benefits’ with whom I last had sex eight weeks ago. We’d earlier agreed that we don’t have enough in common for a relationship. But since the sex is always good between us, we meet up when we can. But as for this new man I just slept with, I’m full of anticipation that I’ve found a man with whom I’ll be able to share much more than tantalising sexual chemistry.”