Relationships

October 8, 2017

Electronic Infidelity

He, boyfriend, intimate, Bastard, he, intimate pictures

wife

Mobiles, Facebook, emails, My Space – how are you not meant to look when such arrays of possibilities beckon all the time? What’s wrong with checking out a potential lover’s Facebook? It’s research isn’t it – better to know what you’re letting yourself into! And some ‘researchers’ go too far. Like the computer analyst who created a fake personal and befriended her boyfriend’s female Facebook ‘friends’ to see if he was up to no good!

“I was furious at what she’d done,” confessed the now ex-boyfriend. “We just started dating, why go into all that cloak-and-dagger to catch me at what? A close friend of mine’s girlfriend worked out his email password and looked for evidence of infidelity. Which by the way she found. Whether what she found were flirty banters or full-in cheating, the fact she could stoop so low sent her irate boyfriend showing her the door!

So which is worse – the dodgy messages or the searching? “`Who is Monica?’ is what I wanted to ask my boyfriend. Accompanied by a kick in the groin area,” confessed Fatima when she discovered her boyfriend’s ‘treachery’! ‘Instead, I slid my (now ex) boyfriend’s phone back into his pocket and glared at his sleeping buck. I didn’t – and to this day, still don’t – have a clue who Monica is.

But according to his sent items, she was sexy, looked hot in her picture and he wished he could’ve seen her that night (the same night he was sleeping with me!) Yes, I’d totally and sneakily checked his phone. Not content with the (lack of) evidence in his inbox, I’d gone into his sent items. And there it was. But now I was stuck. I couldn’t tell him, without giving him occasion to dump me. So, I lay there, seething silently while trying to justify my stalking him, albeit on his phone!

“To this day, I wish I’d just come out with evidence of his two-faced commitment – but we weren’t that much of an item then. And who knows if I wouldn’t have been shown the door earlier than I was?”

Greg. a legal practitioner who uses the internet a lot has this warning for ladies with ‘google’ eyes! He warned: “If there’s one do-not-break rule for cyber snooping, it’s don’t do it! Don’t believe me? If a girl found me rifling through her phone book and old photographs, wouldn’t she hit the roof? Especially if we weren’t dating. Just because My Space and Facebook give you the means doesn’t make it acceptable.

In just one click, you can find out who’s befriended me, thrown some put-down my way or written on my wall. But that click also pushes you one step closer to a virtual restraining order – especially if you find something you don’t like.

“And chances are, because you’re looking for it, you will, if a date accepts you as a mend on Facebook, they want you to see their snaps, waIl comments and hot ratings. Just don’t start obsessing over the pictures of ex-lovers. If they have stuffs to hide, do you think they’d let you look

at their online life? Sure, when a new squeeze adds me on Facebook, I’ll scan her profile. But palling up to her friends to get juicy info? Forget it. Stick to the tried-and-tested night out, conversation and generous amount of alcohol, so girls, if you’ve established your man isn’t shagging the 70 odd girls listed as mends, don’t start checking his mobile or emails either. It’ll only end in tears.

‘I know because I’ve been there – an ex once went through my laptop and there was an email from a girl who wanted to meet up for ‘that drink we’d been talking about: Except it was a friend from work I hadn’t seen for years, although the four kisses she ended her mail with didn’t help. It was the last straw and we broke up afterwards.

So if you’re genuinely worried your other half is having it off elsewhere, don’t rummage online. Ask them straight. Approaching them with a bundle of emails, accusing them of electronic infidelity, is something most men would rate along rifling through their pockets behind their back and taking off with their hard-earned cash!”

A couple of years ago, Tomiwa, who was pleased she’d finally cracked the technique to surfing the net fmally got through her daughter’s Facebook account and nearly died of shame. “The silly girl had apparently sent her married lover a nude picture of herself. Someone had seen it and off-loaded it onto Facebook. Sadly, it takes a while for Facebook to erase any offensive posts, by which time the harm had already been done.

“The sad part is that my daughter wasn’t sorry I found out. At 29, she said she was accountable to no one. I was the one snooping around for God – knows-what on her private platform! I was shocked. I later discovered the boyfriend was married and for months, 1 was frosty towards her. But of what good was that? She is after all my daughter. But the sight of her starkers on the Internet will hunt me for the rest of my life!”