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He’s a bit short for me

Dear Bunrni,

I’m a divorced mother of two and 29 years old. I left my husband two years ago and met my current boyfriend, who shows a lot of affection.

This wasn’t the case in my last relationship. My new partner is loving and affectionate. He also helped me through financial and emotional stress. The problem is that he is 15 years older and considerably shorter. People talk about this and stare at us when we go out in public.

I also don’t feel as much love and devotion towards my new partner as I had for my ex. Though he is nice to me, I love him in a different way.

My ex did things that I can’t forgive. Yet I still think about him. The love I feel for him stops me giving this new partner the love he deserves. I don’t want to lose him as I care for him a lot. Help.

Dejoke, bye-mail.

Dear Dejoke,

In spite of your ex husband’s betrayal, you once felt an intense desire to be with him. Your new friend might care for you and your children but the fact remains

that you ran into his welcoming arms on the rebound.

The concern you have about him being older and shorter shows your lack of love for him. Rather than romance or passion, you feel gratitude and affection

You’re distracted by thoughts of your ex because you would like to re-kindle that torrid relationship and make it work this time. In other words, you crave the

excitement he aroused in you.

My advice is for you to forget your yesterday man. When love leads us into a lousy relationship, we need to get out quietly and not look back.

Now ask yourself this question, instead of using your new boy-friend, do you think that in time you can return the love he gives? Your answer will determine the future or otherwise of this relationship.


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