By Bunmi Sofola
MEN aren’t perfectionists: Early last year, a survey revealed that a woman spends nearly three times as long as men wrapping gifts. How pointless is that when the wrapping is going to be torn off as soon as the gift has been opened?
Men don’t seek solace in mindless pampering: When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby—anything from chatting with mates to watching sport. Women, more often than not, do things which aren’t remotely relaxing but are all preening, which is just another sort of work. They will slog through packed clothing stores which leaves them feeling fat and frumpy. Or spend hours being tweeted by younger women whose beauty leaves them feeling plainer ton ever.
Men don’t tell tales out of bed: Women like to pretend that men are sex-crazy, indiscreet oafs. Odd then that—even after a few drinks—most men would never dream of sharing intimate secret with their friends about a woman’s sexual performances, complete with ribald laughter, sound-effects, leering and jeering. Yet women frequently do this. Maybe men don’t do it because they reckon it would make them look stupid to put up with someone who doesn’t do it for them in bed. And they’d be right.
Men don’t confuse clinginess with commitment: Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to ‘commit.’ I fail to understand what is childish about being self-sufficient, and showing understandable reluctance to throw oneself into a smothering relationship with someone who’s obviously unhappy and over-needy.
A man don’t mistake sex for romance: Sex is, generally, a rather basic thing. Yet, somewhere along the line, some women have adopted the notion that sex should be akin to a trip to Disneyland on magic wings for a play date with Barbie. Women seem to think sex should be about communicating, sharing scented candles, two-hour massages, three-hour role-play, kissing, cuddling and then … that other things, if you must. Men believe that sex is about having sex, the rotters!
Men don’t make check-list for love: Sure, men have a type. They will also have a fantasy figure. But they’re unlikely to sit around with their mates making checklists of what they require from a real live woman. If a man did this, he’d be labelled a sexist pig. But many women find it perfectly acceptable to keep a checklist of the qualities they require from a man: tall, handsome, successful, rich. I’ve noticed that women who do this most are the women who end up with no man at all. Still, they can always cuddle up to their lovely warm lists on a cold night. Ladies: If you’re not rich, successful or a raving beauty, it makes no sense to demand.