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Am I trying too hard to keep a man?

DearBunmi,
I am 26 years old and every time I meet a new man, I truly believe he’s ‘the one’ for me. I get so carried away with the moment, but things always end in tears for me. I get horribly hurt, swear I’ll be more careful next time, and then it all happens all over again. When next I feel I want something so much, how can I make sure I take things more slowly?

Monica, by e-mail.

Dear Monica,
Being “in’ love’ is all about how you feel. Making love work – choosing the right partner, forming a good relationship, creating long-term possibilities – is down to a combination of feeling and thinking. So when you meet someone new, give yourself time to think. Set a schedule so you don’t rush into sex or commitment too soon.

Don’t spend every minute together – take time out to think what’s actually happening. Ask yourself some soul-searching questions such as: Do I like this man as well as love him? And don’t force him into a commitment when he’s not ready.
With time, you’ll recognize the type of man that’s really for you.


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