DearBunmi,
My eldest child is in his late teens and goes to school from home. We live in a block of flats and our flat has a one room boy’s quarter attached to it where the housemaid lives.

Few weeks ago, one of the other neighbours’ servants came to tell me that my son was always coming to the maid’s room in the night when we were all asleep. That he sneaks in food and drinks and that they even smoke cigarettes together.

I was really upset by this not because I thought my son couldn’t be having sex at his age but because I know the maid to be worldly wise. I don’t want my son to catch any dreadful disease and I’m against his smoking and drinking at his age.

Should I tell his father to have a word with him or should I call the maid to order?
Maria, bye-mail.

Dear Maria,
The less noise you make about this, the better. Why don’t you talk to your son yourself!
Don’t give him the third degree, instead let him see how anxious you are for him not to get any STD (sexually transmitted disease) and how there is the possibility of his getting the housemaid pregnant.

Encourage him to be more serious about his studies instead of boozing and smoking. You should have a word with the maid too. The fact that you know should put the fear of God in her. Don’t be too high-handed though, or they might find alternate avenues for their escapades.