July 22, 2017

Would you reveal your past to your future spouse?

Would you reveal your past  to your future spouse?



 Past relationships can be a sensitive issue to discuss with a future partner. While on the one hand, being open and honest lays the foundation for a stable and healthy relationship built on trust, on the other hand, going into vivid details about one’s past may seem awkward and may be like opening the Pandora’s Box. This has been an issue of concern in relationships… As usual, we sought the views of celebrities and their responses are as follows;

It depends… — Ene Ochu, Actress/Model

It depends. If I study him and realize he isn’t the type that I can confide in then I won’t reveal anything to him. But if he is the type I can confide in and I know he wouldn’t judge me then I will. Truth is not all men can handle situations so I will have to be careful and be sure before telling him anything.

I have to make sure he can handle it first … — Annette Cookey, Singer

Old things have passed away. Truth is, it is very important to understand your partner/spouse. In as much as I would love to tell him about my past; the good, bad and ugly, but not in a hurry. I must be sure that he is ready and can handle such information and I must be sure that he won’t use it against me in future for any reason at all. Especially if things do not work out years later. With great understanding I can share a few stories, but not all, he is human and may not take it well. Let time help you do the talking. When a man sees that you are loving, caring, diligent, faithful, honest etc… your past will not get in his way. Give him time (years) to know the new and improved you and unpleasant past won’t erase his love for you.

 I will if he cares to know — Grace Johnson

 Yes I will if he cares to know. Because some spouses want the past to remain in the past while some will care to know. So if he is the type that cares to know about my past , why not? I’ll definitely reveal my past to him.

The past doesn’t really matter Yetunde Bakare

It depends…. If there are  some vital things he need to know, like if a child is involved, of course I’ll explain to him. Because no man will adopt another man’s child without an assurance that he’s safe but if there’s nothing vital I don’t have to tell him e he asked except he asks. And if he does, I’ll tell him what he needs to know. The past doesn’t really matter. If he truly loves me he’ll see my past as my past and it’ll remain there. He wouldn’t pull yesterday’s cloud over today’s sunshine

It depends on the kind of past — Joy Bucknor

It’s really complicated, but for me, it depends on the kind of past I have. If a person has a very bad past which is going to affect the relationship in any way… For instance, if the lady has done an abortion before meeting the guy which affected her womb, then she can reveal that to him. But if it’s not something that would jeopardise the marriage or relationship in future, I’ll just keep it to myself. There are things that are better not known, because when it’s known the person now begins to see you in a different light. If a lady or guy has had several sexual partners and luckily didn’t contract any disease, there’s no need to tell the future spouse the numerous partners they’ve had in the past. Some past should remain in the past as long as there’s nothing in the present that would affect the future. Also, if you’re just getting to know each other it’s really not advisable to reveal everything about yourself to someone you just met. But if you’ve known each other for long and there’s a deep level of trust, why not? So, one has to be wise.