By Bunmi Sofola

There are some things men simply don’t want to know about their current squeeze. Here, Damson Synson, a writer gives the low down on topics that put men off romance!

Anything to do with star signs: Going on about star signs has guys mentally pointing a remote control at you to keep mute. We don’t believe in them and women tend to use them to have a go at us. Telling a guy he’s a ‘typical Gemini’ is another way to say, “You’re fickle and untrustworthy.”

Counting calories: Eating is sexy. Men like women who like food. Men do not like women who talk about kilojoules or follow food fads. And remember,on a first date, the phrase “Not for me, I’m on a diet” is about as attractive as “I’m a stamp-collector.”

What your mother’s up to: Most women phone their mothers far more than most men do. That’s fine, but we don’t want regular updates on her health and her spats with neighbours over unruly dustbins, etc. If we wanted to know that kind of stuff, we’d phone our own mothers.

What self-help book says: The titles alone—Get off Him! Women Who Love Too Much—are enough to provoke male groans. The irony is that self-help books claim to unlock the secrets to successful relationships. Yet, the second a man sees one in your room, he’ll want to bolt for the door. Read them, if you must, but please don’t parrot that psychobabble at us.

Unfair accusations: You know, like that old cliche, ‘You only snog me when you want to have sex.” I think this is a “good example of a self-fulfilling, prophesy. A bunch of girls sit around in a bar whingeing about men. One of them comes up with some specific complaint and then the others go home and look for that behaviour in their blokes—just so they can say” Aha, you’re a typical man!”

Your best friend’s gossip: Unless the story is good enough to repeat in the pub—that is, it involves crushing humiliation, extreme insanity, sex with football players, etc.—your boyfriend isn’t really all that interested in your friends. Sorry.

Any menstrual details: As an eight-year-old, I was sent to a shop by my older sister to buy her a box of tampax, “Ask for super,” she instructed me.

Absolutely mortified, and with an impatient queue behind me, I got too nervous to ask for a plastic bag and cycled home (very fast) with the distinctive blue box perched on the handle-bars.

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