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I think I gave him a wrong impression

Dear Bunmi,

A group of us from my university went to this hot party and I ended up going home with a very attractive man. We didn’t actually have sex, but we fooled around most of the night. The next morning, I woke up dying of embarrassment as I was totally naked in bed with this total stranger.

Luckily, he was really sweet about the whole thing and we spent the morning talking.

He turned out to be a real gentleman, so I gave him my number but I haven’t heard from him since.

Is it because he’s written me off as a slut? Was that the reason why he didn’t have sex with me when he had all the opportunity to?

Is there a way I can explain to him that I’m not normally like that and see if we can possibly start again?

Appolonia, by e-mail.

 Dear Appolonia,

There is the good news here and the bad! So let’s get the bad stuff over with! You are right to think that this man isn’t calling because he thinks you are easy.

It may be the first time you’ve ever done something like this, but how the hell does he know that? As I’ve often said, men like the chase. Go home with him right away and the game is over.

The good news, however, is that there’s a possibility, though remote, that you can try and change his mind about you.

Of course your defence would be to tell him that you’re “not normally like that,” but we’ve heard all that before.

As a result, the more you try to explain your behaviour, the guiltier you sound. If I were you, I would count my losses and look for greener pasture.


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