May 24, 2017

She said I wasn’t the father

She said I wasn’t the father

Love gone sour

Dear Bunmi,
Why are women so fickle? Why am I so unlucky with them? After several disappointments, I finally got married to a woman I thought loved me. That was five years ago. We have two boys but now a man who was my rival when I was dating her has boasted that he fathered our first son.

I was furious and insisted on a blood test. My wife said I shouldn’t bother as the child was not really mine. You can imagine how devastated I was and still am.
I looked at the younger son and wondered if that too was mine. My wife swore on the Bible that he was but I still find it difficult to believe. Heaven only knows how many people are now laughing behind my back.

I’ve threatened to send her packing but she cried and begged me so much that I’m still undecided. Why did the man wait this long to tell me about the first son?
He doesn’t even want to take him.
Chris, by e-mail.

Dear Chris,
You’ll be surprised how common your problem is – trapped women have often imposed unwanted pregnancies on unsuspecting men. Your main concern should be the kids who are the innocent victims of your wife’s indiscretion. Whatever you decide, both of you have to agree as to what the right of the other man would be if he surfaced again to claim his son.

He might be the biological father, but you are the true father of the child and you’re the one he knows as his father.
If you feel you can trust your wife again after all the pain you have gone through, then keep the marriage. If you can’t trust her, the earlier you look for another wife the better for your peace of mind.