Bunmi Sofola

Remembering the good times can help us feel wonderful whilst hanging on to the bad times can destroy us. By living in the past, we can forget to make the most of the present. Here’s how  psychologists believe you can avoid falling into this trap: Take time to work out how many hours you spend thinking about the past. If you find yourself constantly returning to events that are long gone, there’s probably something that needs to be dealt with.

Get it off your chest.

Talk to a willing friend about the way you feel. Sharing emotions can release you from their powerful hold. If that doesn’t work, talk to a professional who is skilled at helping people move on. Look at what you have of value in your life now. Make a list. Maybe it’s just a lot of little things such as kind words from friends, a walk in the sunshine or watching your favourite TV programme. No matter how small, these things count for a great deal.

Find time to do things you enjoy and make time to share your energy with friends and people who value you. This will help you to create good memories and build a strong and happy future.

Dr. Janet Reibstein, a psychology lecturer pin-pointed various tactics to help keep your marriage on the road. These include: Good communication—in particular a willingness to talk about relationship. But if you expect to encounter hard times, you will develop ways around them.

“Marriage—or long-term cohabitation goes through three distinct stages.

During the initial five-year testing phase, vital negotiations take place about issues such as who makes the decisions and who does what. The foundation for later success are laid early on.

Next is the ‘building’ phase, running roughly to the silver wedding anniversary. At this time, the couple must put their personal needs on the back burner and invest heavily in their relationship and family. This is followed by the ‘maturing’ phase when family obligations decrease. The couple then begin to see their marriage—something harmonious that gives

them opportunities for themselves as individuals.