DearBunmi,

I met a fantastic woman last year when I went on a foreign course from my place of work. We spent more than six weeks together and had brilliant, passionate sex.

It was a mind-blowing experience and I really fell hard for her. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to get in touch on our return to Nigeria.

But when I called, she was always busy until she yelled down the phone that I was pestering

her and should leave her alone.

I was shocked to say the least. What kind of woman behaves this way? I was really serious about her – so much so that I thought she might be the one I would settle with.

She’s not a teenager – she’s in her late 30s and both of us had been

married before.

David by e-mail.

Dear David

Women often feel they’re the only ones to suffer the way you do, but your experience shows that isn’t the case. Your big romance was obviously a casual fling to this woman – and she’s telling you to see it as just that.

Lasting relationships are built on friendship, humour and the exchange of ideas and dreams – not just hot sex. Skip these stages, and you can find yourself besotted with someone you don’t really know.

Forget her, hold on to your dignity, and look for other ways to meet people until you find someone you share the same dreams with.