IT’S interesting how a single phone call can lead to a chain of mind-blowing events. I got such a call not too long ago. The call was from Farouk, a very good friend, an engineer who has been successful beyond his wildest dreams. A divorcee, he’d sworn off women because of the traumatic experience he had with his ex until he met Rita at my place. She is 5 feet 9 inches tall with an athletic body and a foreign twang to her voice. Spontaneous and easy going, she’s totally into having fun. The fact that her marriage crashed barely four years into the union has never fazed her.

The two kids of the marriage live with her mother-in-law and as soon as she clamped eyes on Farouk, all her man-hunting techniques came into fore. Farouk was obviously smitten  with her, and at some point in the evening I felt as if I was the odd one out! Rita’s always been renowned for fooling around with men who are supposed to be off-limits than the available men. Farouk, at that moment was in-between girl friends and I prayed Rita would hang around him long enough for him to make a commitment.

So when next they both visited, clinging to each other as if they’d been stuck together with super glue, 1 kept my fingers crossed. As the ‘lucky charm’ that brought both of them together, I reaped the benefits of my good work. Farouk always supplied endless bottles of good wine whenever I had any get-together, and whenever both of them travelled, Rita spoilt me with thank you ‘gifts’. I never believed I could be this happy,” she gushed. “Farouk is always generous, never handing money over to me. Instead he showed me where he always put his cash and said I should help myself to it whenever I needed some .. .”. I was a bit jealous, believe me.

A few months into this hot affair, Rita came to me, sober for once and on the verge of tears. “Your friend has gone bonkers”, she wailed, “He’s asked me to move my things out of his house!” They weren’t living together in the real sense of the word, but since she spent most of her time in Farouk’s house, she’d virtually moved in but kept her bed- sit in her parent’s home. So what happened? “He saw the note Dejo sent me and hit the roof”, she said.

Dejo was her latest ex and she’d regaled Farouk with tales of what a wonderful man he was and how they had to break things up when the wife not only found out, but quickly got pregnant again – and they’d been trying for a child for years. So why was he writing her a note after such a heart-breaking fare-well? “Sis, there’s no point asking questions.

What’s happened has happened”, she said, a bit irritated. “Dejo just sent a note to tell me how much he missed me, nothing serious … “ And he sent the note to Farouk’s house? “No, he bribed my younger brother to bring it to me in Farouk’s house!” So, why didn’t she tear up the note after she’s read it? She just shrugged.

I wanted to get hold of her and shake her, but she looked so contrite that I eventually agreed to have a word with Farouk on the phone. I kind of hoped you would come with me to his place”, she pleaded, rolling her puppy-eyes at me. In the end, she twisted my arm, and I agreed.

Giving a triumphant whoop, she made her way to the kitchen and helped herself to something to eat. “Farouk believes I’m so ashamed of the way I’d behaved, I couldn’t hold any food down. What he doesn’t know is that I sneak in meals from time to time wherever I can find them before I get to the flat!

Farouk’s face was like thunder when he let me in and saw Rita hovering in the background looking really sorry for herself. He grudgingly let us in and before I could say anything, Rita was on her knees, weeping profusely and begging Farouk’s forgiveness “Do you want me to be laughed at?” she wailed. “After a failed marriage and relationships with one or two heartless men, I’ve finally found my soul mate and you want to send me away in disgrace! You know I love you and that no man is a match for all the things you’ve done for me. What would I tell my parents and my friends? Where would I go … “

On and on she went, and I marvelled at the way she quickly changed from the chatty woman she was at my place to this snivelling wreck! I had no choice but to put in a word or two for her and Farouk relented. No man with a heart would watch Rita’s

performance and not be moved. Farouk asked Rita to get me some refreshments, “and get something to eat yourself,” he told her. “You know she’s not been eating well since all this happened? I was a bit worried she might do some sort of damage to her health … “ What could I say? Some women certainly know how to manipulate their men!

I went to the kitchen with Rita to get a drink when she quickly kicked the door shut and howled with laughter. “You see how easy it is to get round your friend”, she bragged.

“Thanks, sis, I owe you one”.

That was some months ago, and now Farouk was on the phone. Before I could get past the ‘hello’, he was shrieking down the phone: “Tell that trollop ‘sister’ of yours to stay away from me,” he warned. “If I see her around this house, I promise youI will kill her!”

This was going to be a long chat, I groaned inwardly. “You know that before she left this house a week ago, and went back to her ex? I couldn’t believe it. “You had better,” he fumed. “She left the house last week with my permission because she lost her aunt – her mother’s younger sister. Her mum was distraught when she called through with the tragic news and I advised her to go home to console her. So, yesterday, I felt a bit guilty for not visiting after all the days she’d been away. Instead of calling her first, I went to the family home, intending to spend some time with her mum, and give her some money towards the funeral.

“I must have passed her car parked a few houses from her family home without noticing it. But her mum was said to be sleeping, and Rita was out. I promised to repeat my call.

Going back to my car, I noticed hers. The car looked deserted. Did it break down? Curiously, I approached it and peered in. Lo and behold, who should be inside but Rita with her ex in the most passionate lip-lock I’d seen in recent times! They didn’t even notice me peering down at them from the car!”

But how did he know it was her ex? “She pointed him out to me once at a party. So I already knew what he looks like. Just tell her to stay away or I would kill her! Luckily, she took most of her things the last time she went back home. I’ll send the rest to her or burn them – it depends on how I feel later”. With that he hung up the phone!

I didn’t know what to make of this latest development. When I called Rita, she naturally wasn’t aware of her being found out. “That will save me the bother of breaking things off with Farouk, wouldn’t it?” she sighed. “Things didn’t work out between my ex and his wife. She lost the baby and the poor man is still in love with me. I like Farouk, but I’m not in love with him. If he can’t send my things, tell him to give them to his next girlfriend, after all, most of the stuffs were bought with his money!”

“But Rita, how could you … “I started to say. “How could I what?” she was on the verge of being rude. “These things happen you know? If he were the one who got fed up with the relationship, he wouldn’t be crying down the phone to you – would he? Let him go and take a jump!” I haven’t heard from either of them since the incident and I don’t want to.