My boyfried and I were having an affair while he was living with an older woman who was also his business associate. Because he was financially reliant on her, we had to be discreet. However, they split up recently and he moved to a bungalow she helped him to buy.
He always said things would be different between us when he was unattached, but they aren’t. We go out more and do more love-making and he tells me he loves me – then he denies we have a committed relationship. He still insists we sneak off to meet well away from our neigbourhood and he makes sure no one knows about us. I’m not interested in us living together, but I want us to see each other openly and be a proper couple. When I told him this he said I should go and find someone else. I love him and can’t believe it has turned out like this. Why doesn’t he want the world to know we’re together?
Justina by e-mail.
Your boyfriend is wise in not wanting to go straight from one fully-committed relationship into the next. And remember, he was having an affair with you; affairs are fun because they’re naughty and dangerous and have to be kept secret. That’s almost certainly why he wants to keep your relationship under wraps and why he wanted out when you asked to be seen openly as his girlfriend.