By Bunmi Sofola

Anthony, who lives in Ikorodu, and has his office in Lagos, wrote in: “I commune daily from my home in the country to my job in Lagos and leave my car at a friend’s filling station. Thanks to the BRT buses, this has saved me lots of money and undue stress. The other day, I returned to Ikorodu later in the evening to find my car had been damaged: the front bumper was crumpled and one of the headlights smashed. Angrily, as I surveyed the damage which could in no way be called my fault, I reflected dismally that there were no witnesses as the filing station had closed for the day, and that I would be faced with paying a lot of money to repair the damage. On my third party insurance cover, I was on my own.

“Then I saw, tucked almost out of sight behind the windscreen wiper, a little note which read: “Apologies for the damage, please contact me at … “ followed by a name and an address. I contacted the person, discovered he was a financially comfortable gentleman and he took full responsibility for the damage done by his driver. The matter was amicably settled. I was amazed at such honesty. The man could easily have scampered, and left me with the bill.

“Later, I wondered whether I was right to be so surprised; whether we are perhaps a little less scrupulous than we might be in keeping honour bright.

“Are we becoming more likely to accept some form of cheating in our day-to-day lives without feeling dishonourable? We face so many temptations to bend the rules here and there. For example, just before I had that incident with my car, the roof of the factory of a friend was damaged by the storm and he faced a real test of honesty. He and I knew the whole roof needed repairing before the storm struck. If he boxed clever, he could get the insurance company to pay for a whole new roof and – that’s exactly what he did’.

“Sad to say, I think that some of our backsliding in this country has to do with that root of all evil: money. And I’m sure that the reason we are inclined to find little cheating way acceptable is because our lives are increasingly involved with vast organizations like banks, insurance companies, chain stores and so on. We might not dream of stealing a single kobo from a friend, or cheating a neighbour, or deceiving a child, but when it comes to dealing with some hugely wealthy impersonal concern, we don’t see strict honesty in quite the same light.

That shop assistant who gave you too much change by mistake ..well, that store is handling millions, and certainly won’t go out of business for the sake of a few Naira. And what about personal letters which you put in to be stamped with the office post … ? Well, the boss expects it, everyone does it. I’ve known good, normally honest people who think nothing of these “fiddles”. They forget that the issue isn’t whether the other people or company needs the money, but whether it is their right to have it.

“Things are not being helped by the bare-faced robberies that go on, on a very alarming large scale in our various establishments. Then, almost overnight, we are treated to how looters easily made away with most of the country’s wealth enough to use part of their loots to pay for the best lawyers. Majority of the rogues virtually go unpunished, thanks to roguish plea-bargains! In spite of this

I’m convinced that we all know, in our hearts, what is strictly honourable and what is not and that we must draw the line and not move the goal posts any further to suit our purpose.

“Because the more we move them, the easier it becomes to make excuses without listening to our conscience, and without feeling guilty. And apart from the damage we do to ourselves in thinking this way, there is the harm we can do to others who copy our example. We may forget that children form the pattern of their behaviour by watching us, and that it is by this sphere of small examples that they’re most influenced.

“Its the little, everyday decisions we take that matter, for while children’s judgement is uniformed, they will take their cue from what we do and say. There is no more potent way of giving children

a pattern of behaviour than the example, which they see at home. There, they pick up ideals which colour their adult lives. We can’t expect them to accept ‘don’t do as I do, do as I say’. No amount of lecturing has been half the impact of one small example which can teach them more than a hundred lecturers could. If we fail to keep honour bright, we’ll continue to be in the wrong … “

I decided to print Anthony’s letter because there is a lot of food for thought in it. It is some weeks to the New Year when we resolve to do things that will improve our lives. Musing on the message of honesty in this letter might just be a good beginning.

Good riddance? (Humour)

A man and his second wife are at a dance. On the dance floor is an extremely elegant, beautiful woman who knows all the moves. First she waltzes and foxtrots, next she does a rumba followed by a break dance and a bit of moon-walking, then ends with a triple back flip. All the time, she is smiling and clearly enjoying herself.

The man turns to his new wife and says: “See that woman? She divorced me five years ago.” “I see,” his wife replies. “It looks as if she’s still celebrating.”