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That wrong relationship!

By Ogaga Otaotu

Why do women remain in wrong relationships?How can you identify the tell-tale signs, the red-flags and  most importantly when do you finally decide to take a walk from such toxic relationship?

How do women get stuck in wrong relationships for years, expecting a change? When can a lady tell herself “ok this is it…I’m done” or “you know what,I can’t take this anymore?’. This topic is on RELATIONSHIPS not marriage; you have to first be in a relationship before it leads to marriage.

It is always a thing of joy and excitement for most ladies when a guy propose but It appears only a few women really take out time to seek God’s face before getting married. That is, bringing it to God in prayers and asking for His will with questions like “Is he really the one for me? Do you really want me to do this? who is this guy? Reveal his true personality to me’.

Today, ladies are more interested in planning a pre-wedding photo session (which is not bad) and getting carried away with preparations for the wedding,leaving the all-important issue behind…PRAYERS. This is should actually come first but what goes on these days is more like putting the cart before the horse.


There is the need to prayerfully commit that guy into the hands of God, ask your family, friends, spiritual leaders to join you in prayers, take out time to fast and pray. God will reveal to you if really you should go ahead or not. It is a pity most people now see this as old fashion It is needful to be reminded of some basic things especially with the increased rate of divorce and separation.

42 year old, Tessy spoke passionately to Today’s Woman on this topic. She said she could totally relate to it. What she is currently going through in her marriage could have been avoided if she had been a little bit more patient.

Six months after her marriage was when she found out that her husband did not have a job. He successfully hid it from her all through the dating period. He always made her believe that business was down “for now” and as a contractor, clients were still owing him for services rendered. The truth is there was no business anywhere. She has been very unhappy since she found out. Women easily get excited about marriage proposals that they forget to find out things about their partners.

40 year old Harriett knew for sure that Uzo,the guy she was dating had a family elsewhere. He made her believe that he had cut off every tie with them and he was starting afresh. Moreover, they were not in the country.

All hell was let loose when the lady in question came to town with her two kids a day before the engagement party. She was battle ready to disrupt the ceremony but for the timely intervention of Uzo’s family. Things have however not been the same for the new couple. Harriett says she is having a hard time living with that consciousness that her husband kids are just around the corner.

Two years ago,27year old Tayo had a misunderstanding with then fiancé about his car. This led to a heated argument and the guy beat the living daylight out of her. This was actually not the first time he would be hitting her. Friends and family advised her against marrying him but  she believed the usual lie… “he will change”. Two years down the line, she had to file for divorce, citing domestic violence.

The incidences above could easily have been avoided but some women are just too desperate to heed the warning signs. Some fear they may not find another partner if they leave the relationship. While others have to deal with “I am not getting younger” fear syndrome.

They would rather “manage” him after all no one is perfect. True, no one is perfect but it is wise to protect yourself from the pain, heart ache and trauma you may likely go through later and wait for the one GOD has for you, a man that will love, respect and treat you nicely. There are such men, guess what? Some women are married to such men and they are actually enjoying not enduring their marriages. You too can enjoy yours if only you will ask God for His guidance.

Prayers however, do not immune you from the challenges in marriage but you can always run back to the ONE who gave you the go-ahead confidently and HE will make everything right.

If you know you are in a wrong relationship, You can ask God for His grace to get out of it. You can do it,Yes you can.




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