Dear Bunmi,
I have strong feelings for a man although we’ve never been out. He comes into the restaurant where I work as a waitress, usually on his own during lunch time. He always smiles at me and is really friendly and he doesn’t wear a wedding ring.

 
I believed he would ask me out soon but instead, he came into the restaurant one night, with a woman. She was wearing a wedding ring and it was obvious they were an item.

 
I was so upset that I avoided serving their table. But he called me over to introduce his lady friend. He didn’t describe her as his wife, but I thought it odd that he would introduce me, given our relationship.

 
He was kissing her and they seemed close even though he looked across and smiled at me a few times. I’m confused. What’s going on? Is he trying to make me jealous?
Jackie,
By e-mail.

Dear Jackie,
You didn’t say how old you are, but you’re quite young and inexperienced judging by the tone of your letter. All that’s happened here is you’ve mistaken friendliness for romantic interest. You thought love was blossoming, he thought he was making pleasant conversation with a friendly waitress.

 
It doesn’t really matter if the woman he brought to the restaurant is his wife, lover on someone he met the night before. The fact is, he was with her and didn’t, for a second, think it would upset you. Which means he sees you as a friend or a friendly waitress.

 
What you’re feeling isn’t love. It is infatuation and you’ll get over this quicker than you think.