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Sex and the spirits

By Yetunde Arebi

Many years ago, there was no GSM and telephone was like gold, owned only by the rich and powerful. In the days when information could not go viral courtesy of the internet, a certain story broke the norm and managed to spread quickly, and it left a great impression on the minds of both old and young. And for many like me, it informed our decision for caution, at least a little, in some of our actions, then and even up till now.    This was in the mid ’80s and as young teenagers, no matter how criminally inclined, or greedy and materially thirsty one was, endangering one’s life was on the card at all.


The story had it that a certain undergraduate, of no particular institution had followed a rich aristo home. After haven been generously paid for her would be services, the aristo opened a big calabash where a large snake was let out. It was the snake that went into the girl and came out again. The aristo later dumped the distraught girl at the gates of her school where she went mad, perhaps from both depression and shock combined.

She began singing like a canary bird, revealing all that had transpired the night before. What eventually happened to the girl in the story, I cannot readily recall now, though I guess she died. And though there were other versions of the story; one alleged that a turtle crawled out of her while another said that maggots were oozing out of her vagina, one thing was consistent, a young ambitious undergraduate, a rich aristo willing to pay the bill, and something sinister eventually consuming the desperate girl.

In my mind, I can still imagine what the poor girl must have gone through in that horrible ordeal. That she managed to survive to tell the whole sordid story is a miracle, for I know without doubt that I would have died at the sight of the snake. I hate snakes with a passion. I can’t bear to look at mere still pictures of a snake, not to mention seeing it live, crawling and all that.

In subsequent years, I would sometimes review the story and come to the conclusion that it must have been cooked up by some over protective parent trying to drum fear in the minds of impressionable teenagers of the dangers lurking around in the society, until I stumbled upon a video clip on the internet a couple of years ago, where a snake was having sex with a guy! The story suddenly came alive in my memory once again.

But while the man in the video clip was engaging the services of the snake for sexual pleasure, the aristo who arranged the snake to have sex with the young girl was not interested in watching a lap dance between the girl and the snake to trigger sexual desires. The import of the drama was for ritual purpose, and a money making one for that matter. Give the greedy bitch what she wants and take from her what you need! These type of stories have become a regular feature in our society.

The get rich quick syndrome has lured many of us into situations we cannot untangle ourselves from, while the sleeping money demons we have woken up from slumber must be fed at all cost and by all means. Everyone is now in a wild goose chase for what may or may not be real. Sex for spiritual purposes, real or imagined, have now become entrenched in our society. Many of us may snigger, twitch their noses or hiss at the idea simply because, for anything spiritual , it is difficult to see and prove with the ordinary human eye and is not accepted in law as a basis for evidence.

Many other factors, such as the new religions (Islam and Christianity) westernisation and cosmopolitanism contribute to our denial that these things are possible and are being perpetuated in our society, while we forget that even the holy books acknowledge that we wrestle with powers and principalities, spiritual forces in high places. If you surf through all the Africa Magic channels on DSTV and other cable services, there is hardly a day you will not see a movie with this plot.

If it were not happening, there will be no victims and there will be no stories. That it has not happened to you or someone you know of, is hardly a reason to dismiss it as false. Sex itself is a spiritual exercise. It is the bonding together of two bodies in creation form, naked. Two cannot walk together, unless they agree. Where they disagree, it is logical that the more dominant or powerful will subdue the other. What is this power?

It could be good or evil! One school of thought says that when you have sex with a partner, you give away a part of you that you cannot ever get back, while you also take a part of the other person. What you might have,  going by this theory are; evil + evil, good + good and good +evil. And it would depend on which is more powerful. Eventually, you may lose all of your original powers or being while adopting all sorts of various beings in you.

Another school of thought is that the more sex partners one has, the more chances of one’s exposure to various powers. Invariably, your own being is being reduced while you are taking on all these other beings that may be in contrast with your own. In simple sexual terms, you can give or contract STD, pregnancy and other related issues depending on what you both have. Also, the more partners you have, the more your chances of contracting any or all of the available diseases.

While the above is only a mere module I use in counselling young people about the dangers of premarital sex, it can only add credence to the belief that there is a spiritual connection with sex, even though this is not exactly listed by science as one of the benefits or dangers of sex. Sex can be used in the spiritual realm to take something away from an individual or to give something to one also, similar to the experience of the young Olosho girl in the above story.

Something was taken away from her and another implanted in her for spiritual or rather, ritual purposes. And in exchange for that precious item stolen from her, the man had given her a large sum of money as incentive to let down her guard. She lost all and gained nothing, even the money given to her that night for the encounter became useless.

Between the time that particular incident happened and now, several similar stories have made headlines even in newspapers and the social media is agog with related stories too. Yet, many are still being lured like moth to fire, despite the gruesome and harrowing experiences of victims and their families. Daily, men and women perhaps due to low moral and societal values and economic hardship, position themselves as target for spiritual harakiri. About 10 years ago, I met a woman who had just packed out of her matrimonial home at the time.

Her story was both intriguing and mind blowing such that till date, I find it difficult to forget. According to her, her husband was a God-fearing, homely and loving husband until he had a little problem at the office. In the process of looking for spiritual assistance as advised by some people, he was introduced to a prophet. She said though she did not like the guy, he became a permanent fixture in their home because of the relationship that ensued after her husband’s challenge was solved.

She said soon, her husband began exhibiting strange ideas and behaviours, especially his opinion about women and extra marital affairs and bringing home all sorts of funny ritual stuff. Confronting him with his now obvious philandering and preference for juju and rituals always resulted in big quarrels between them.

Then, one night, he woke her up for what he called a serious discussion and dropped a bombshell.    He was doing it for her welfare and that of the children. How? To secure their future! How will dating all sorts of women and rituals secure their future. He told her to forget about jealousy, which he described as a woman’s problem that blinds them from seeing the good in people and things and open her mind to what he was about to share with her.

He told her that sleeping with the various women was for spiritual purposes, rather than his need for sex. That the more women he sleeps with, the more good fortune will come his way through them. He said she should look all around her and the great men of power in the country as well as many others who have women flocking around them. He said, for the women it is about financial gain and social status, but for the men, it is much more than that as they use them to boost their own spiritual powers to achieve more successes.

He asked her if she thought sleeping with such a large number of women was fun? It was at that point that she realised that her husband had lost it. A few weeks later, she woke up in the dead of the night and overheard him talking to the prophet. He was giving him the profile of a married woman in the neighbourhood to check if she was alright for him to bed. She knew then that she had to run to save herself and her children. On one hand was the danger of STDs and HIV and also the possibility of herself or the children becoming a target should the prophet say so.

At the time, I asked myself if a university graduate with the man’s level of exposure could sink so low? I have since concluded that the answers cannot be found using those indices. They are found in something more deep rooted in our psyche. If only the preys know!! Do have a wonderful weekend!!




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