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‘I’m hurting my girlfriend, I don’t ejaculate easily’

Dear Bunmi,

I find it difficult to ejaculate easily and can have sex with nothing happening for a long time. My girlfriend is now getting frustrated because she says I wear off all her lubrication and make her sore. I don’t know what the problem is as I have no problem masturbating.


Chuks by e-mail.

Dear Chuks,

A small fraction of men have difficulty reaching orgasm. For most of these men, it will easily be only temporary, but for some, it can be due to an underlying health problem like diabetes. Prescription drugs can also delay ejaculation as can too much alcohol. When you masturbate, you know how to touch yourself to get the best feel. Teaching a girlfriend to stimulate you the same way may also help your performance. For some men, it is more in the mind with worries about the relationship or with their orgasmic reflex being criticized.


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