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Drawing the line between rape and a one-night-stand!

By Bunmi Sofola

WHAT sort of buzz, drives a man to one-night-stand, relationships? Lola had accompanied her friend to her ex-husband’s birthday party, hoping to have the good time she promised. “He has birthday bashes annually”, said Lola, “and my friend has stayed friends with her ex because he was a good provider even when their marriage wasn’t  really  working.

Rape
Rape

“He is a real clown, more a Jack-the-dad than the successful man he’s turned out to be. The party, apart from its not being a landmark one, was elaborate —good food, good booze and a good crowd.

The music was a jazzy mix. Later in the evening, I stood outside the busy toilet when he said I could use the one in his bedroom. I wasn’t there one minute, when he burst in and was all over me.

I was shocked. He mumbled that he’d been watching me all evening; that he’d found me attractive for ages, and all those mushy things men say when they are in heat. I was shocked and terribly embarrassed. I had never given him the impression I fancied him.

“I tried to beat him off but he was too strong. Unfortunately, my knickers were already round my ankles and he raped me there and then. He was out of the toilet before I knew what had happened! I felt so used and humiliated and when I got back to the party, I thought every-one would know what had happened to me. But they all just carried on enjoying themselves.

My rapist didn’t as much as look my way and when we left, he even saw us off telling my friend what a beautiful lady I was. I felt so humiliated, I wanted to blurt out what happened but who would believe me?” Kayode prided himself on being a good one-night-stand man. “I simply love the challenge of bedding a girl the first time I met her, if I find her attractive, that is”, he bragged.

“The moment I clamp my eyes on a victim, the possibilities start running through my mind. Will we be sexually compatible? Will I come too quickly or won’t I be able to come at all?” One night stands have a habit of cropping up, if not often, then once in a while, especially nights when there is too much flirting and drinking at parties, giving you too much build-up opportunity. Then you kid yourself that the chemistry between you and your victim is right and then, wham!

“Of course, I’ve burnt my fingers from time to time. I’ve discovered, for instance, that my prowess between the sheets— if you call it that— has become topic for conversation at some female get together during the course of their now frequent drinking chin-wags. Women, like men, now freely discuss their sexual escapades and I’ve listened to a few deride the techniques of some really influential men. Makes your flesh crawl at times!

‘They are certainly more brazen than men especially when they’ve had a few drinks. So, it’s not only men that are the predators. Some women offer you sex on the platter when it is the furtherest thing from your mind!”


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