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My husband’s second wife doesn’t know I exist

Dear Bunmi,
My husband took a second wife without my knowledge.
We’ve been married for seven years and still remain childless due to his own fault (doctor’s report). I heard from the grapevine that he took a second wife over a year ago. The irony of it all is that he claimed to be single, so the other woman doesn’t know of my existence. What do I do? Does he still deserve my love? At times, I feel like running away. I hurt and stay awake every night he stays away. I am dying in silence.
Bola by e-mail. 
MR-AND-MRS-Love-notes
Dear Bola, 
Have you really confirmed that your husband has a second wife by asking him?
It’s amazing the unnecessary pain we put ourselves through because of lack of dialogue. Men could be as emotionally strung as women. The fact that your husband can’t give you a child must be devastating to him and some men in his shoes have happily accepted other men’s pregnancies to save face.
You obviously still love your husband and you need to seek urgent medical solutions to your childless state. Lastly, you too have to decide if you love your husband enough to stay married to him without the prospect of a child. The longer you leave these soul-searching questions without seeking answers, the more frustrated you’ll become.


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