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How exciting is a spouse who stopped drinking?

Until recently,   Jibola, a 39-year-old accountant was the life and soul of most parties he attended. He would think nothing of polishing off a bottle or two of red wine, then follow it up with whatever booze was available.

alcohol

Then, one day, horrified at seeing a colleague’s daughter’s wedding photographs and how ridiculous he looked in most of them, he decided to go on the wagon. He stopped drinking abruptly and put himself on a very strict regime.

Was his wife Fola pleased? Not in the least! She explained why: “I met Jibola when we were both at the university and, like most students; we drank like a fish and went to wild parties most nights of the week. In fact, part of the reason I fell for him was because he was so full of life.

After we left university, things settled down a bit. We found good jobs and got married. We still drank at weekends and a few times during the week, but it never affected our daily lives.

Our sex life was amazing too – partly because our barriers dropped when we were drunk and we could relax and get into it. Even after two children, life wasn’t dull and the fun went on. Then, out of the blues, Jibola decided to go off booze! I was disappointed, to say the least.

He signed on for a gym, went on mostly fat-free diet and cut out all traces of alcohol. I knew it was good for him; he was active and pretty slim, so, I wasn’t worried about it. I told myself he wouldn’t stick at it forever.

But, a month later, there was no sign of him changing his mind. His enthusiasm went from strength to strength, and instead of drinking a few night a week, he’d be at the gym pounding a tread mill. He refused to go out at first, insisting it would be too much temptation.

‘Instead, we spent night after night just watching TV. He then stopped being funny. Sometimes, it was hard to get even word out of him.

People stopped ringing us to link up knowing he’d only refuse to join them anyway. Life became so dull that I was begging him to start drinking again. I would buy bottles of wine and leave them on the table, hoping he’d cave in. He never .

“These days, we go out more often, but he’ll only have a bottle of beer and then go straight into drinking orange juice. Things are not the same as they used to be and it saddens me. I know it might sound ridiculous, though I love him, I find the new Jibola boring to be with. I just wish he’d let off steam once in a while and be his old self again.

Jibola on the other hand was miffed by his wife’s attitude towards his drastically cutting alcohol off. “I feel quite hurt that my wife thinks I’m boring. The Jibola who was the life and soul of the party, the ‘mad’ Jibola, just wasn’t me. It was always the drink talking.

This is the real me. Apart from the weight I’d put on when I was drinking, I simply got sick of living life through a permanent hangover or a drunken stupor.

I know my wife says I was fun and that our sex life was great when I was drinking but what is the point when I don’t remember a thing about it? When we were students it wasn’t a problem. There was no work to get up for, and Fola was just as bad as me. Even when we first started working, it didn’t really matter.

“But, I soon realised I was permanently tired, and wasn’t performing properly at work. Then, when I   was passed over for a really important promotion because my bosses thought I wasn’t up to the job, I realised there were other things in life which were more important than the booze.

I really believed my wife would support my decision to sober up. I wanted to prove to her it was possible to have fun without having a drink. Admittedly, it was hard-sitting there stone cold sober while they all fell about slurring their word – but the benefits were obvious straight away, my wife should have been pleased. But all she did was to complain.

I’ve never discouraged her from drinking. As a matter of fact, a few months ago, I realised not drinking at all wasn’t right for me and now I have the odd bottle or beer when I go out for the evening. But, I honestly don’t want to get drunk any more. I’m happier sober. I don’t know how we were going to work this out though, because my wife doesn’t seem to agree

Analysing Jibola and Fola’s problem, a marriage counsellor said: “Fola’s problem is that she married one man and now, it seems to her, she’s turned into someone else. She must learn to respect her husband’s decision not to drink to excess any more, in the same way as he respects her lifestyle. He recognises that ‘excess drinking was causing problems and has done so well in cutting down his consumption.

When a couple no longer shares the same interests, they have to find some other common ground. They should sit down and try to plan other things to do together that don’t revolve around drinking.

EXERCISE CAN KEEP DEMENTIA AT BAY-EVEN IF IT’S IN YOUR GENES

REGULAR exercise may stave off Alzheimer’s – even in those whose genes put them in the dementia danger ZONE Being active at least three times a week stops the brain from shrinking, a study of men and women in their 60s, 70s and 80s found. Even those with the APOE-e4 gene were protected by brisk walking, jogging, swimming and cycling, it was discovered.       !!.

The APOE-e4 gene is carried by up to 30 per cent of the population. It is thought to increase the risk of Alzheimer’s tenfold – though not everyone with the suspect DNA will develop the disease. Experts say the findings have ‘tremendous implications’ in treating the condition. The brain normally shrinks with age, with the hippocampus – the brain’s memory hub-particularly vulnerable in those at genetic risk of dementia.

Researchers at the University of Maryland, in the US, measured the brain size of four groups of pensioners at the start and end of the 18-month study. The amount of exercise they did was monitored and they were tested for the APOE-e4 gene. The only brain shrinkage occurred in those with the gene who did little or no exercise. Those with the gene who were at least moderately physically active three times at week or more were protected, the journal Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience reports.

Vintage Booze? (Humour}

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to trick the man with a 5-year Scotia. The man takes a sip, sowls and says, “Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch.” The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grim aces and says, “Bartender, I don’t want 8-year scotch like this filth. Give me 12-year scotch. “

Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch. The man takes a sip and sighs, “Ah, now that’s the real thing:’ A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says, “Hah, I think that’s really far out what you can do. Try this one.”

The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries: “Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!” says the drunk. “Now how old am I?”

 

 

 

 

 


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