Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” — Marcus Aurelius

Last week, I wrote about the wall of silence when broaching the subject of mistreatment of women and girls in our society. As usual, the response was lukewarm and met by stony silence.

Alas, there is no joy or vindication in the fact that women once again, bear the butt of a crude and offensive  joke at Bright (Basketmouth) Okpocha. I shall not dignify his rendition of the said joke by repeating it. No. I won’t. It is a sad fact that, there’s many a true word spoken in jest. This, was one of  them and judging, by  the  responses from various social  media, most of our  men folk actually  agreed with Basket mouth that women who go out with them, dines  with them and  lavish them  with  gifts should expect to provide them with sexual  favours. And if the woman refuses, well, they reckon the women deserve what they get! Are we this low? Where are the real men or there is no call for common decency anymore? What happened to dating and getting to know one another? The majority  of  the  responses it  seems the  general consensus; if that  is  to be  believed, there  must be many women  who  have  undergone  this trauma and these spineless men(my  apologies  to  real  men), are made to  accept that they  deserved this odious act.

And women of course, have little or no support other than keep quiet and say nothing.  It is traumatic and the psychological ramification lasts much longer than the physical damage. And for  the  men  who  perpetuate such criminal  acts, they  are  by  all  intents  and purposes  rapists. Yes, I said it! if  a man forces themselves on a  girl  or  woman,they are  in the  eye  of  the law rapists. We have misplaced our sense of morality and integrity if we think we can justify this away. Not this time this proverbial cat is out of the bag. When something is wrong it is wrong.  As a daughter, mother and sister, it is important to speak out. Every girl, woman, wife, mother, sister, niece have the right to feel safe and protected.

As  a  mother  of  a grown  man, it  is my  responsibility  to ensure  that my son is brought up to understand how to treat women after all, his mother is one! We, as  mothers have to lead the way and ensure  that our children; boys and girls behave in a manner that is  honourable and decent and  if they  do  not, they  have  to  know  there  are consequences.  For our men, it is important that our men  lead by example, your boys  are  going  to  follow  suit, they  are witnessing  the  way  you  treat  women and  they  will act it out.

For our women  and  girls; take  care of  your  dignity, make  your  own  way in the world, look at  the  type of  men you want to go out with ;judge  them  by  the way  they  treat other women  around them, if  they treat  them badly,  you  will  receive  the  same  treatment, regardless of  how he woos you.  What Basketmouth did inadvertently dig the shame right out of the shadows but we all know it is rife and endemic in our society.

So what now? We have to work to rid our homes, schools, workplace and other establishments of this heinous crime. Am sure by now, some of you are scoffing that it is impossible, really then, how about starting with yourself? If we as individuals can, make a simple difference and together we can overwhelm this abhorrence.

Change should begin at home, schools and all establishments. There should be public campaigns on TV and radio and talks in schools. We should have specialist team to deal with women and girls in a sympathetic manner and a judicial and legal system that is impartial and that will act defensively to convict the wrong doers.

If Basketmouth  professes he  respects women  and  that  he  is  remorseful, he  should champion  women issues and  use  his fame  to speak on the  protection  of  women. I was so hearten that the coordinator of Walk Against Rape and Project, Esther Ijiwere, spoke decisively that the comedian should make amend  by becoming an “advocate of good behaviour” with his jokes and different platforms to champion the cause of women.  This  is not  a  case  of  scapegoating, it  is  a matter  of  with great  responsibility  comes great accountability.

Although, he has since apologised, it is, a little too late. He said on his page that “Ok guys, I’m sorry about the rape joke, I won’t crack such jokes again, I’ll just stick to jokes about men being able to marry under-aged girls in Nigeria”.

And  further he  said: “My people, I have a daughter that I would give my life to protect, a wife that means the world to me, a mother that made me the man that I am and anything that is done for any woman is less than she deserves for the role they play in our lives.

I would never in a thousand lifetimes encourage rape, I posted a joke that many clearly misunderstood and have found offensive and I sincerely apologize, the intention however was to highlight an unfortunate trend and the ridiculously flawed comparison between money & the worth of a woman. So to all women, the ones that make our lives colourful, the ones we owe our lives”.
Yes, it is all good and dandy. It is rich coming from BM and so (NMBY) not in my back yard! About time people realised that what concerns the goose also concerns the gander!

This should not be allowed to blow over, let him put his money where his mouth is, saying sorry is cheap. He needs to do community service on behalf of every Nigerian girl and women.  And if he is that popular and that contrite as he says he is, he should lead and act by example and spearhead a campaign against rape.

A plane too many

“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.” –William F. Buckley Jr.

I  am  sure most  people are  familiar  with our  presidential  fleet of private  jet  planes  and the stupendous  amount  of money it  takes to maintain it. The Federal Government has budgeted another N1.52b for the maintenance of the 10 aircrafts currently in the PAF in 2014 and it is now set to spend just about that amount on a new one. If  the  GEJ wants  to  start weeding  corruption  and waste,  he  should  look  no  further and can start purging  the wanton  excesses  of  his lifestyle and his administration.

The  usual  defence of the  Nigerian administration is,  that  other heads  of  states  have planes and they  reckoned that, GEJ should have one befitting our head of state.