By JOSEPHINE  IGBINOVIA

Itsekiri-born Pastor (Mrs.)Ruth Nick-Essien is a minister of exceptional appeal who believes that women should never be seen as a subservient creature; not even in the church. Ordained by Bishop David Oyedepo of the Living Faith Church Int’l in 1998, Ruth Essien  is the Founder/Presiding Pastor of Exodus Evangelical Ministry in Lagos.   Right from inception, she has stood radically by her mandate which is to raise true worshippers for God by helping man restore his relationship with Him, and also within the family by redeeming lost family values.  Pastor Ruth is a mother, a wife, and a founder of several ministries including the ‘Women after Revival’ and the ‘Female Ministers Forum’.  She has 14 books to her credit. She spoke with Vista Woman recently on her area of calling.
Excerpts:

In the beginning, the Bible says God made them male and female.  The idea that women should be subservient even in the church is not of the scripture as written by Apostle Paul.

It is simply the translation of the people who tend to translate the Bible based on their orientation, environment, level of education, etc. One thing also about the Holy Spirit is that in Him, there is neither male nor female. If you’re male or  female and you believe the Holy Ghost will not move in your line, then He will not because He doesn’t force Himself on people.

But if you are a woman and you have the mind of the spirit and you also understand how the spirit moves, then He will move through you. The reason why we are not seeing the Spirit do mighty works with most women is because the environment does not permit it, and the women too don’t think they should be used of God. We actually make the mistake of bringing the traditions and customs of men into the work of God. But the truth is that God uses any gender, and will move if you allow Him.

As a minister called to the area of relationship- both with God and within the family, I teach without reserve on all manner of issues that have to do with husband and wives. I hide nothing!

My work with singles has also been very exciting. I believe we should catch people while they are still single because it will pay off when they eventually enter into marriage. That way, they will get it right!

The first common issue that I’ve noticed among singles is that many want to get married for the wrong reasons. You find people getting married because they feel they are of age, they need accommodation, their friends are getting married, etc.

That’s why we have so many overdue singles in this era! They do not understand the real reasons for going into marriage. You find a lady working in a good company and doing very well, and you notice that she’s looking for somebody who is doing better than her before she can get married. That’s not the reason for marriage!

What stops you from getting married to a man that you’ll help to be somebody in future?

We know, though, that some men misbehave after being helped.  That  should have nothing to do with you; leave that to God.  I also notice that some men too are also looking for ladies that are doing well financially before they can get married. It’s wrong! Why would a man insist on getting married to a lady whose car he can be driving and whose connection he can use to stand? What has happened to his ego? Whether we like it or not, the husband is in charge. And the Bible says God placed him(man) in the garden so he could tend it. But these days, we find lazy and unserious young men turning the whole thing around!

God has revealed to me that in this era, getting married will be an issue, and staying married as well will also be an issue.

Basically, that’s why I’m intensifying my effort in this area. Unlike dating, in marriage, everything is naked! There’s nothing you can cover. Hence, you see even a one-month old marriage breaking down. That’s why I teach on dating the right way. People date with emphasis on the girl’s figure, the guy’s eyes, nose, etc. That’s not what you should be after.

There are questions to ask and investigations to  make while dating! Dating must graduate to courting before marriage takes place. If not, you end up cutting yourselves into pieces when you marry.

While dating, you should not even accept that you’re going to marry each other at all. As far as you’re concerned, you are both friends and are trying to know each other. Here, you should feel free and relaxed. This way, nobody will cover anything since nobody is thinking of marriage.

Courting is when you now begin to bring him home. At this level, you now try to know spiritual things about the person. No matter how mature or exposed you think you are, you must give yourself time before you marry somebody. If you’re mature enough anyway, you can actually do this in a short period if you ask the right questions. Don’t ever marry somebody without investigating that person. In those days, our parents used to dig deep into the sort of family their child wants to get married to.

One thing I usually ask singles is ‘Can you marry you?’. Many people want to remain irresponsible, but always want to pursue responsible people.

The truth is that you attract who you are; not what you want. You cannot be evil, rotten, self-centred, and expect to get married to someone different. Even if he or she covers up, when you eventually get married, you will begin to find out that you’ve got married to your second you.

It all boils down to the reason why you’re getting married. Some women believe they are too big to cook for their husbands, and this also leads to problem in their marriage.

For me, I got married so that I can spoil and thrill my husband and children, and also be there for them. So, if you get married just because you want a man to sleep with you, you’re on your own! So, like I said, it all boils down to the reason why you got married. No career should stop you from cooking for your husband.   I usually pick a date to prepare up to five different dishes, and I store away, so that there’s no lack in the house.

Continues next week….