Young Man Sending a Text Message

The following dialogue I eavesdropped ensued between a lady and a gentleman in a bus I boarded en route Warri from Ughelli. The gentleman while trying to hit on the lady and convinced her into sharing her contact, received the humiliation of his life.

Gentleman: “Are you on facebook or twitter? My name is….”

Before he could say anything in addition, she cut him short in a fairly uncivilized line of attack, exhibiting her Blackberry encased in jewel decorated padding in her left hand.

Lady: “I don’t do FB or tweet no more, I’m upgraded. If you don’t have a BB, please forget it!”

The rate at which every Rita,Sophia and Kate is unabashedly desperate and would do roughly the whole lot to have a Blackberry in Nigeria in a bid to keep up with the Joneses is relatively awful. Something should be done to check this extreme development before most ladies be two a penny for something that is not meaningful if all truth be told. I can remember clearly when people would exchange email addresses and phone numbers until the emergence of our very facebook fever, twitter, MySpace and so forth. Even the guys are not left out in this rapid insanity that has taken over Nigeria like an outbreak, as they usually wind up using part of their lifesavings to acquire a device they cannot completely take full advantage of. Ask the Canadian developers, Research in Motion (RIM), there is more to acquiring a Blackberry than just showing it off around town and demanding for everyone’s Blackberry Pin in an unspeakable approach.

Even when you find young ladies with life-size bags that are reminiscent of a traveler’s luggage suspended on their shoulders or drooping from their arms, one wonders ceaselessly why the Blackberry which can fit into one of these luggage, oops I meant bag, is always put on show or has it turned into a style statement that is becoming up-to-the-minute by the day? The Blackberry comes in different shapes, sizes and throat-cutting prices. And whether it is in supple rubber pouch (with a wide range of attractive colours to complement the user’s outfit, suit a particular occasion or weather conditions), the Blackberry is a craze that everyone, girls especially want to own and will do the unthinkable to keep up with the flow. Other internet enabled phones with a choice of functions have been dumped for the Blackberry that has taken over the picture. If you haven’t gotten one like the gentleman that boarded the bus with me, you might be believed to belong to the old school grouping in this latest school of fast rising development setters or be embarrassed by the girl next door.

At another development in what is believed to be a church and a place where God resides, I witnessed a cross section of the worshippers waving their hands (with their BB in it of course!) and shouting “alleluia” to the pastor’s “praise the Lord”. What insolence for one’s Creator! Don’t be stunned if you are treated lesser by one of those suffering from the BB obsession syndrome or see people resorting to different criminalities and depravities. The males who fit into the former class engage in stealing, armed robbery and phone-snatching, while their female counterparts who fall into the latter group, however engage in prostitution and quick-runs to obtain a BB. So, at the next bash or occasion you grace with your esteemed presence, you would find these BB fanatics seriously playing with their BB at the slightest given opportunity or gesturing with it when they talk (as is common with ladies) as they accept as true that the price of one’s BlackBerry determines how distinguished their personality is.

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