By Helen OvbiageleWoman Editor
Two five-year-old kids who had been quietly playing with their toys in the garden of a block of flats began to struggle for possession of a toy computer set.  One of the boys was a cousin’s son, and we were sitting on a bench nearby, watching them.

They had argued several times during play that afternoon, as many children do, but soon they would forget their differences and resume playing together.  However, this time round, they both wanted the toy computer which my cousin’s older son who had been in the garden with us, had left behind, to go into the house.

“Leave it to me,” screamed my cousin’s son, “it belongs to my brother.  Our daddy bought it;  not your daddy.  It doesn’t belong to you.”

“It doesn’t belong to you, too,” said the other boy.  “I asked your brother if I could play with it, and he said ‘yes’.  You didn’t ask him for it, so, I should play with it.  I can give you after I’ve finished.”

“No,  I must have it now.  Give it to me!”

“Don’t hold my shirt,” screamed the other boy.  “I’ll beat you o!  Leave my shirt, or, I’ll kill you!  I’ll kill you with a knife, like in that film where they cut a man’s throat on the beach.  I’ll kill you like this,” and with his fore finger, he demonstrated how to slice a throat.

“I’ll kill you with a gun,” said my cousin’s son.  “A gun is more powerful than a knife.  And it’s quicker.  Bang! Bang!  Bang!, and you’re as dead as a dodo.  I’ll just point the gun to your head and pull, like in that home video.  Bang!  You’ll just fall down and die.”

“I won’t fall down and die.  You can miss.  But knife cannot miss, so, you kill the person fast.”
“No, you can’t.”

Soon, the argument was no longer about who should have the toy computer, but about which is a more lethal weapon – a knife or a gun.

I was horrified by the conversation, and I could see that my cousin was uncomfortable too, but she didn’t call the boys to order.  I suppose because they were no longer fighting, but were engaged in a conversation, she felt all was well.  The boys continued arguing about guns and knives, quoting films in which they were used, and how effective the preferred one was in getting rid of the enemy.

“Are you okay with kids discussing this sort of  thing?” I had to ask my cousin.
“I’m not at all, but didn’t experts say  that kids should be allowed to express themselves freely, so that that they don’t grow up timid and lacking in self-confidence?  Correct me if I’m wrong.”

“I’ve heard that said too, but I don’t think even the experts would want children to engage in conversations on the merit of  dangerous weapons.  These kids here are not talking about  fighting with hands and feet, but with knives and guns.  That’s frightening!”

“I agree with you.  It’s not a healthy topic for kids this age.”
“Or of any age, for that matter.  Even adults who are not in a war situation shouldn’t discuss such things, let alone kids of impressionable minds.”

“It must be those wretched violent television programmes and videos that they’re exposed to.  I monitor what my kids watch and read, but when one’s not home, they may do what they like, on the recommendation of their friends.  Same thing when they visit friends whose parents don’t worry about what their kids watch.  What can one do?”

“I suggest you call your kids together and strongly condemn violence of any sort.  If you’re on very good terms with this boy’s mother, call her aside to report what took place here today.  She too may want to counsel her children.”

“That’s a good idea.  Perhaps I should contact the school head and tell her what happened.  She may want to give, or call an expert in to give several talks on violence and weapons of violence, and their repercussions.  Luckily, most of the kids on this street go to the same school, which is in this area.  From talking about weapons of violence, kids may actually want to use them, who knows?”

Exactly!  From all angles, violence is thrown at us wherever we turn; even in the serenity of our own homes. There are very few modern films, videos and books which are devoid of violence.  Apparently, it sells much better than those that do not depict violence.

The internet is the worst communicator of sordid and gruesome forms of violence.
The other year, we read of a German who put a notice on the internet for a person who would want to be killed and be eaten.

He found a willing victim and he carried out the gruesome act.  He was arrested and is serving a jail term.  Some people with suicidal instincts have advertised for like-minds so that they can die together.  They got their wish.  Only last month, a young lady in Europe who had been communicating with a male stranger about this on the internet, arranged to meet up with him, and they gassed themselves and died together in a vehicle.  Her parents discovered what she’d been up to, when the police looked into her computer, and checked her mail box.

There was an outrage in Britain the other year, when an Australian said he would teach people how to take their own lives.  I don’t know if  he’s written a book on this, or is contemplating a film on it.

All these incidents may seem far away  from us, since they’ve been taking place in foreign countries, but all custodians of  kids – parents, guardians, teachers and religious leaders, etc., – should be on the alert and speak out against these things, because the world has become a global village, via the media.

I was shocked the other day, while helping a kid of two, learn his ABC,  I saw that the letter G stood for GUN, and a gun was used to illustrate it!  Granted that it had other words like – goat, gate, girl, and glass – in the same box, but it was a gun that was illustrated.  Wouldn’t a girl, goat or a gate have been more adequate?  The book was published and printed in a mid-Asian country, and it’s sold on the streets.

I know that violence is a reality of life, but since it’s very destructive, whatever the dimension,  we should by example and through counselling, make it very unattractive for our kids.