By Fplake Aina
Women I am going to be real today. I am addressing mothers and our adult children. When I say adult children I mean females who are of marriageable age.

First I would address the parents. Of course I know that the joy of any parent is to see their children get married. But we need to be careful on the pressure we put on our children.

Many have ended up with just any guy or the wrong guy just because of pressure from parents  and family to get married. A little more patience, the right guy would have come along.

Marriage is not something you jump into anyhow.  We know of a truth that it is not good for a man or woman to be alone, so we agree that marriage is good. Marriage is the foundation of civilization. There are many forces fighting against successful marriages, and everyone, (no matter your religious dispensation), agrees with me.

The enemy even knows that once the family is pulled down, other things can be pulled down.

This is a very serious matter. Marriage is very deep and very spiritual, and must be taken seriously.

Inspite of all that is happening, many still rush into any kind of marriage anyhow, just to appear to be married. In many situations, marriage has become hell on earth for many women. Many women  have been sent to an early grave because of the  fact that they rushed into a wrong marriage. Some women are so desperate they do not care what kind of marriage they enter into, or what man they marry.

It is of utmost important for every woman to know,(and this is a fact), that your life never remains the same after marriage.  Many women just dream about the flamboyance of the wedding day, and how they would look on the wedding day.

They want to be the envy of all their friends as they walk down the aisle in their expensive wedding gowns and beautiful make up. Many spend all their life’s savings on that wedding not minding the morning after. We must be mindful of the fact that while that wedding is for a day, marriage is for life.

The truth is that everyone plans your wedding for you, but when it comes to the marriage it takes a lifetime, and just the two of you. The man and the wife. There is no misery or pain that you can compare to that of a bad marriage. The marriage that you decide to enter into can make you or finish you.

Think about it. If you have read  and heard a lot on marriage, you would know that a good marriage is a major secret to greatness and success. Your marriage would always decide what you will become. If a woman  marries a loser, no matter how good the woman is, before too long, she would have lost it all.

If a woman  marries a failure, it is only a matter of time before her mates and colleagues plunge ahead of her, while she continues to dive deeper and deeper into the pit of failure.

If you are not married yet, believe me, you are luckier than many. You still have the opportunity to change your thinking and pray about  and decide on what kind of marriage you would want. I have told you many times before that prayer works. If you are already married and you know you made a wrong choice, it is too late for a rethink. You can only pray for a change or repair to take place in that marriage.

I do not believe that any woman who has been with Woman to Women for would dive anyhow into a wrong marriage. I know that sometimes you think you took your time, and chose wisely and things still go wrong. But to see that it is wrong from the beginning, and still dive into it, just to impress people around you is criminal.

Do you know that some women do not mind getting married today, and the marriage breaking up the next day, just for people to say that they at least get married. Life is not a gamble. Do not gamble with your life.

It might help today to know that there some things to look into when thinking of going into marriage. As much as we know that no too people are the same.

Everyone is unique, and our backgrounds vary. We must strive to strike a balance on compatibility. Incompatibility is a major marriage killer. You must understand that each of you come from different backgrounds and do things differently, therefore it is something everyone works on the live together in peace.

Marriage brings two different people together, yet they have no choice but to be one. You must be with a man who is ready to work on compatibility. I have seen man and wife fight over things as little as turning light out when they go to bed. The woman grew up sleeping with the lights on.

The man on the other hand was raised sleeping with the lights out. So instead of reaching an agreement on how it would work for both, the problem starts. I was told of a marriage that broke down because of toothpaste. The woman believes that you press the tube from the bottom, the man presses his toothpaste from the center, and as simple as this problem looks, it destroyed that home.

There has to be a place where they both agree on how to press the toothpaste, or get separate tubes. My message today is marriage is your life. You cannot do it anyhow.