Dear Bunmi,
I recently attended my close friend’s birthday party in her house and met her boyfriend. They’d been on for a few months but that was the first time I met him in the flesh. After a few drinks, I went to use her toilet upstairs and found myself alone with him.

He grabbed and kissed me and we had sex there and then. You can imagine how embarrassed I was a few days later when my friend tongue lashed me for seducing her boyfriend. She said he ‘confessed: Ean we ever be friends again: I like her so much and regret what I have done.
Amaka by E-mail

Dear Amaka,
You really have been disloyal to your friend and what happened between you and her boyfriend at the party will probably spell the end of your friendship. On the other hand, it takes two to cheat. So your friend!; man is just as guilty as you are, if not more so.

It’s best to keep out of the way for now while they sort things out between them. Then write an apologetic letter to your friend and wait for a reply. If one arrives, arrange to meet up and do your best to put your friendship back on course. Only, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t bother getting in touch with you. All I know is that a man who easily sleeps with his girl’s friend would trip up again sooner or later.                                        

                                                        I haven’t kissed a woman

Dear Bunmi,
I’m 28 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I haven’t even kissed a woman, and now I feel that I never will. Everybody I know seems to be talking about sex, love and relationships. Television programmes, newspapers, magazines and songs on radio constantly remind me of these things. It makes me feel so inadequate and depressed. As a result, I don’t feel like going out anymore only to watch other people have fun.

Recently, I’ve toyed with the idea of visiting prostitutes just so that I could know what it is like to be close to a woman. I wish I could meet a girl and fall in love but all hope seems to have been lost.
Kingsley, By E-mail

Dear Kingsley,
It’s true that most men need the comfort and intimacy of female companionship and it is this feeling of yours that you are inadequate that’s preventing you reaching out for a woman’s love. There are tons of lovely woman who want sex and a caring relationship just as much as you do. You need to accept that you are as loveable as the rest of us, and that your desire for sex is nothing to be ashamed of. This will make you feel able to respond to the interest of the women you meet.

You’re not alone as a lot of people have wondered if they would ever find romance, only to find it when they least expected. Instead of secretly aching for love, show some of the women you meet that you’re interested in them. Men who flirt and express their romantic needs have girlfriends. So go out there and find the love you deserve. Don’t let one or two rejections put you off. More women are bound to say yes. 

                                Is my best friend fed up with me?

Dear Bunmi,
I’VE been close to my best friend from our primary school years and we used to have loads of fun. She got married early this year and had a child shortly after. Now, she hardly ever returns my calls and makes- excuses if I suggest coming over or going out together. Can I rekindle our friendship? I kind of missed her.

Marie,
By E-mail

Dear Marie,

When one friend goes through a major life change, such as getting married and having a baby, friendship can suffer. Remember that your friend is busy with new responsibilities, so try and bring the issue into the open. Ask if she wants to keep in touch and discuss ways of meeting that might be easier for her. Perhaps she can’t see you at night because of her new family but would love to meet you at lunch time. Realize that when you make the same life change, the pair of you will have something in common again and may renew the friendship.

So stop assuming the worst. Your friend may be backing off because she’s jealous of the freedom you have, so don’t take her action personally. Friendships often fade and it’s no one’s fault. Don’t ovet:react because if your friend feels blamed, she’s less likely to want to keep in touch. It’s not the end of the world whatever happens. There are other friendships waiting for you if you’re open to them.