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Is marriage really on the decline?

By Yetunde Arebi
Sometimes mid last year, we published some narratives as captioned above. It was the view of some of our readers that, even though the Television stations, Newspapers and Magazines seem to churn out pictures upon pictures of newly wedded couples almost on a daily basis, the truth is that, marriage is actually on the decline.

There is the view that the biting economic situation, high records of infertility problems among today’s men and women as well as the need for self actualisation and independence, account for the main reasons people generally do not eagerly seek to settle down in marriages. Apart from what our respondents had to say, we also published feedbacks from members of the public on this issue.

The piece you will be reading below is one of such. Written by a young graduate of Economics, Anambra State, the articles attempts to analyse, from the writers point of view, the different attitudes of men and women towards marriage.

Contrary to opinion, you too may write in on any Human Angle issue of your choice, as it is never to late for your views to be aired on any issue raised here, either in the past or present. You may also want to write in on any story of your choice, just as long as it is based on a true life situation. Our address remains: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. Or e-mail address: Cheers!!
Dear Yetunde,
Without being told, a lot of us know why some men find it very difficult to marry women of their choice. There are a lot of factors responsible for this and in my opinion, some of them are as outlined below:

First, not being financially buoyant: _ This is a situation whereby a man is not rich, financially buoyant or affluent enough to get himself a woman of his choice or dream. This is the major factor that makes some men to find it very difficult to marry these days.

This is simply because, almost all of our women are money conscious these days and would not like to marry a man who is not rich or financially buoyant to take care of all their needs, including her family needs as well. Because of this, a lot of men are now refusing to get married until they are financially buoyant or on the average in order not to be insulted or humiliated by their future wives.

Some who eagerly rush into it, do so because they have the assurance that their wives or their wives families can conveniently pick the bills, and they will not be affected in any way. This is the major reason why a lot of men commit all sorts of things in order to get money to buy cars, build houses and acquire other properties of their choice before even thinking of getting married.

(The recent case of the Bank Manager in Ilorin who admitted stealing N12m through his banks ATM operations in order to fund his wedding. He said he wanted to give his wife-to-be a society wedding).

Again, a lot of women don’t have good, attractive and wife material characters. This situation make it difficult for some men to marry because they do not find all the qualities or some of the qualities men look for in the woman they are befriending or courting.

Therefore, women should be aware that there are some qualities men looks for in a woman, likewise women too. Women should try and cultivate good, attractive and wife material characters in order to seduce, attract and get hold of  man of their choice without any stress.

Thirdly, a lot of playboys find it very difficult to get married simply because they are into a lot of women at the same time, thus they get confused at the point of marriage. This means that when a man womanizes too much, there is every tendency of not getting married easily, or ending up with the wrong choice of woman, because he will be confused.

With the high rate of promiscuity in our society, this is one of the major factors that make some men to find it very difficult to get marry. Why keep, feed and clothe one, when you can have as many as you want for very little. That is the logic.

Furthermore, hatred, lack of love towards women can also be a barrier for some men and this makes it impossible for them to get married easily. My candid advice here is that, a lot of men should try to be tolerable i.e. to tolerate or accommodate women and their life style.

They can gradually change them to suit their own taste where possible. Unfortunately, this hatred and lack of love towards women is causing a lot of men to go into homosexuality. This  type of men find it very difficult to get married thereby, leading to a host of other things.

A twist to this is that, a lot of men have in one way or another encountered heartbreaks from the women they trusted and loved so much in the past. This is because they are afraid of being hurt again and again. This is the major reason why a lot of men do not keep a particular girlfriend or woman so as not to be humiliated, insulted and heartbroken.

Finally, there are still a lot of factors that are behind the reason why some men find it very difficult to get married. E.g. impotency, spiritual problems or attacks and occult or ritualistic performance. i..e. a man who is into occult or rituals can be asked by their chief-priest to avoid women in order not to loose his power.

This can be a problem, and a man cannot get married easily even when he leaves the occult group as some permanent damages might have been done.

On women
As we can see, marriage is as important as companionship to all human beings especially women. Marriage is an institution established by God almighty and it is very important to human beings. Although, they say marriage is an institution in which we cannot dabble into and dabble out of any how. This is because it is sacred, important and sweet but sometimes bitter.

But still, each and every one of us crave to enter into it by all mains and at all cost, most especially women. These are some of the reasons why a lot of women are very much eager to get married:

Firstly, a lot of girls, ladies and women are very much eager to have their own husband and because of this, they (women) can do all sorts of things or go extra mile in order to get married. It is publicly and generally known that the society does not recognize or have regards for single girls, ladies, women, unless when they are married. Because of this, a lot of women are eager to marry so that they will be recognized in the society.

To be continued


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.