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First time out: (4)

By Yetunde Arebi
Hi, Remember that  song “Tonight is    the night” I think, by Gladys Knight. It’s one of those blissful oldies that takes one tumbling down memory lane, no matter how much we may want to pretend. It talks about those secret three letter words that we all love secretly but try hard to deny openly.

The lyrics of the song is actually about the first time a young lady did the “thing” with her lover. It talks about the anxiety, the pain and pleasures of the act. But instructively the song opens with a call for listeners to accompany the singer on the journey, though individually.

Have you ever tried to think back, capture the first time you had sex? What was it like? For different people, it is different strokes.

That is why we tried to capture the experiences of readers in this article. Together with Onozure Dania, we asked respondents the following questions: When did you first have sex? Why did you do it? With whom and are you still with the person? What was your experience like, was it as you imagined? Given a second chance will you do the same thing?

Beginning with this edition, you get to read what our respondents have to say. You too may be a part of this wonderful journey down memory lane.

Write to us and capture those moments with us, bearing these questions in mind. Our address remains: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. Or e-mail address: We are expecting to read from you. Cheers!

Ben, (45), Engineer, wishes he could relive the experience:
I had my first sex experience at 23, it was with the girl living next door. It was willingly on both  sides as we had known each other for long and I guess we both had a crush on each other. I cant really describe how I felt because it was not pleasurable for me.

At least, not like it is right now. Perhaps because of the inexperience on my part, but it was more of anxiety and confusion than pleasure. The whole thing did not last more than three minutes. In fact, let me just say that I didnt know what I was doing. Unfortunately, it was just that one time. We did not get to do it ever again after that for reasons I may never get to know.

But sometimes, I think it was probably for the fact that I may have disappointed her. Maybe she expected someone hot and experienced because of my age and looks, I won’t know. Somehow, I wish I could have a second chance. I will really like that a lot. But I lost contact with the girl long ago. She is probably a grand mother now.

Nnamdi, (48), Artiste, contracted STD on his first time out. But was he deterred? Find out below as he tells his story:
My first experience as a young man was with a prostitute. Though at the time, I didn’t know that she was one. As a young chap, I was a trouble shooting, talkative and daring guy in thick lens glasses. I had a lot of wild friends too and was very smooth with the ladies.

For these, most people thought I was already having a swell time with the girls. No one knew that all my hyper activities ended just there, on the surface, as I had never had a sexual relationship with any girl while in Secondary school.

After secondary school, we still trooped around in a group as we were awaiting our results. I was about 19, 20 then. One of the guys had an apartment detached from his family house where we all used as a base of sort. His parents were bankers and were usually out until very late in the night, so his place was somewhere we could confidently go and do all sorts of things without being discovered by anyone.

To make things even better, his parents got him a job back then, so he had money and the pad just sort of bubbled all the time, if you know what I mean. Everyone could bring their girlfriends there and spend time. But I never did and no one ever asked me why, if they thought it was strange.

Then, one night, we went out clubbing and we returned to the pad very late in the night. We were three, myself, my friend who owned the apartment and a girl I’d assumed was his girlfriend. There was only one bed in the room and so the three of us crashed on it.

But while I tried to sleep, my friend and the girl went straight to business and had sex. I turned my back to them and tried to sleep.

As soon as they finished, my friend just rolled over and went to sleep. A few minutes after, I was surprised to see the girl rolling my friend to the other edge of the bed and making at me. I told her to stop it as I was not in the mood and secondly because she is supposed to be my friend’s girl.

But she just hissed and asked me if I was serious about what I said. At that point, I had no choice but to wake my friend and inform him of what his girlfriend was propositioning me.

But to my surprise again, he too told me to go ahead, did I not see that he had just finished his own, he asked. Well, that was how the girl led me on and I found myself having sex for the very first time. I was really scared and she sensed it because she kept asking if it was my first time.

I did not want to confess for the fear of my friend hearing it, so I just kept quiet and tried to the best I could. I enjoyed it because the girl was quite experienced and knew what to do. It was exciting, especially when I ejaculated.

Afterwards, I laid there for a long time, I could not sleep, thinking that I had done a terrible thing to either my friend or the girl because I assumed the girl was his girlfriend.

Surprisingly the next day, my friend just waved the whole thing aside, he refused to talk about it and the girl too just dressed up and went away.

For a few days, I was really filled with guilt. However, something more serious happened a couple of days later. I went to pee and discovered I could not.

It was very painful and I automatically found myself screaming. It was a relief when I could finally do it. I knew I was in serious trouble but did not know what to do.

In fact, at that time, I did not know that it was Gonorrhea, but I knew something was wrong with me which must be connected with what I had done recently because that was the only thing I was doing for the first time.


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