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First time out: (3)

By Yetunde Arebi
Hi, Remember that  song “Tonight is the night” I think, by Gladys Knight. It’s one of those blissful oldies that takes one tumbling down memory lane, no matter how much we may want to pretend. It talks about those secret three letter words that we all love secretly but try hard to deny openly.

The lyrics of the song is actually about the first time a young lady did the “thing” with her lover. It talks about the anxiety, the pain and pleasures of the act. But instructively the song opens with a call for listeners to accompany the singer on the journey, though individually.

Have you ever tried to think back, capture the first time you had sex? What was it like? For different people, it is different strokes. That is why we tried to capture the experiences of readers in this article. Together with Onozure Dania, we asked respondents the following questions: When did you first have sex? Why did you do it? With whom and are you still with the person? What was your experience like, was it as you imagined? Given a second chance will you do the same thing?

Beginning with this edition, you get to read what our respondents have to say. You too may be a part of this wonderful journey down memory lane. Write to us and capture those moments with us, bearing these questions in mind. Our address remains: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. Or e-mail address: We are expecting to read from you. Cheers!

For Stella, (32), Teacher, her first time out was an experience she will never forget:
I was just an innocent 18 year old girl, barely aware of the facts of life, when suddenly I lost my virginity. My school_mate cum girl friend had invited me to her house one Saturday afternoon, and so I went. On my arrival there, I discovered she had gone on an errand for her mother. I was invited into the house by her brother where I met her other two brothers who also welcomed me and asked me to wait.

My first mistake was accepting their invitation to wait. The second was accompanying the three of them to their apartment in the boys’ quarters. And the third was my not being aware of the rather quiet sitting room and the whole compound. Their parents had already gone out for the day!

Follow, I did, and got the shock of my life. As soon as I entered their room, one went ahead to lock the door while another began to fondle me, my undies were torn and they were fiddling away with me. But thanks to the Jeans dress I was wearing, I would have gone home naked.

I fought back all I could, but was overpowered by the three of them. They flung me onto the bed and one of them tied my legs astride the bed while to my utter dismay, and horror, one was already undressed and came on top of me.

I still wince and cringe when I remember the thrust and force with which it was done. It was a very bitter experience, for the pain was so searing. The next thing I noticed was wetness all over my thighs.

It was when he got up for the next guy to take his turn that they discovered the bed was covered in blood! Shit! One of them screamed. She is a virgin, cried another; as if they were rehearsing a script. Frantically, they pulled me up and one of them threw me a towel while another went about packing the bed sheets from the bed.

These hoodlums suddenly became tender and apologetic. They said sorry and pleaded with me not to tell anybody. They helped me to put on my dress, and led me out to the taxi park and even paid for the fare!

But did you know that all these while, I never knew what the word virgin meant, how much more, how one loses it? To suddenly discover both at the same time (that one was a virgin and had just lost it to a pack of wolves) was the saddest moment of my life. I could not sleep throughout that night.

However, I never told anyone at home nor my girlfriend, their sister. And I am very positive they too did not breath a word of it to anybody because up till this day, I never heard anything about the episode and I never went anywhere near that house again till I left that town for Lagos.

So, one thing I am grateful for is that they were able to keep their side of the bargain, that of keeping mum over the incidence for I would never have been able to lift my head in that town anymore. The shame would have been too much to bear and nobody would have believed my innocence, especially my mates. They would have thought that I asked for it.

Solomon, (40), Businessman, believes sex is inspirational:

I was less than eight years old when I first had sex That was when we used to do hide and seek game with my female friends. You know that type of play that you will all go into hiding and one person will be chosen to find the rest out.

So, I hid behind a door with one of the girls and I don’t know what let to it, but we just decided to play the game. It was nothing serious as we did not really know much about what the thing involved then. We lacked experience, just the knowledge that a boy and girl must face each other and the boy must put the thing in the girl’s own.

However, later when I attained the age of puberty, the the real thing came. That was the first time I had full penetration and ejaculation.

It was with someone much older than me. I was scared because as we were at it, I suddenly started feeling that I wanted to urinate. I told her to allow me stop and ease myself, but she insisted that I must continue and urinate inside her.

So, when I eventually did, it was not urine, and I felt relieved, all the pain and tension just went down. It was an exciting experience for me. I think sex is something that comes with inspiration.  It does not matter wether you have done it before or not, or rather, no one will teach you this thing, it just comes on you like that.

Its like eating, no one teaches you how to eat, you just learn it on your own. I don’t know about second chance, what is done is done, and you must move on. Right now, I am married and I do it with my wife.


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.