By Bunmi Sofola
Dear Bunmi,
My 28-year-old daughter has been with her boyfriend on and off for six years. He left her for another girl when she got pregnant, and then came back when she had a son.

The problem is that tales abound about his constant philandering. My daughter’s friends have assured her that he’ll settle down once he’s sowed his will oats. But how much will oats are you supposed to sow when you’re in your 30s and a father? Iam worried that he can’t really love her if he keeps being unfaithful. My daughter is not getting younger.
Funmi,
By e- mail

Dear Funmi,
I agree with you on this some men are just not husband material and it is obvious that your daughter’s man is nowhere near ready for commitment. And if he’s not ready for commitment when he has a child to look after, when will he be?

The problem is that by the sound of it, your daughter doesn’t see it that way,she took him back when he’s betrayed her and is currently putting up with more betrayals so tell her what you think, but don’t expect her to dump him. All you can do, I’m afraid, is support her now and be ready to pick up the pieces when things finally go wrong.

Why won’t she  give us a chance?

Dear Bunmi,
Agnes and I have been friends for ages. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and she tells me about her boyfriends, some of whom have been quite nasty to her. I always give her some advice but she doesn’t know I’m in love with her. A few weeks ago, she came to my flat after being let down by her latest boyfriend. I consoled her the best I could. One thing led to the other and we found ourselves in my bedroom. The sex was all I dreamt of, and more.

The next day, she was her chatty self again. She said we were better off forgetting what happened the previous night as she wouldn’t want us to spoil the friendship we had. Well I don’t want to forget about it – I love her and want to be with her. Should I let her know this?
Ephraim
By E-mail.

Dear Ephraim,
It is always difficult making the transition from friends to lovers. It’s obvious that the thought hadn’t crossed your friend’s mind that you’re anything more than a mate before you had sex. That’s why she believed your rump was nothing more than a drunken mistake.

Why don’t you tell her how you really feel about her? She might not return your feelings but there is always a chance that she’ll realize she feels the same about you. Being honest doesn’t necessarily have to stop the friendship you shared, so what have you got to lose?!

Why wasn’t I the one  he married?

Dear Bunmi,
I was in my early twenties when I met my boyfriend and we lived together for over two years. I assumed we would eventually get married but he said he wasn’t interested in a permanent commitment, so we broke-up. That was barely six months ago. I recently learnt he just got married and I am gutted. I don’t know how I’ll come to terms with what I see —a rejection of my love for him. I mean, what has this girl got that I haven’t?
Blessing,
By E-mail

Dear Blessing,
People’s feelings do change and that’s what you have to come to terms with. Your man must have realised you weren’t the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. It has nothing to do with what you did wrong or right,and the earlier you accept that you’ve lost him, the easier it would be to let him go and move on. Be rest assured that sooner or later, you’ll meet the man that’s right for you.