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Her reasons for cheating breaks my heart

By Bunmi Sofola
Dear Bunmi,
I recently found out that my girlfriend of over a year was cheating on me. You can imagine how I felt when she told me that she had cheated because she wanted to find out what it was like to have sex with a man who is well stacked.

My penis is about five and a half inches and I know I’m undersized. Her action has made me feel that no woman will ever be faithful to me. Is there anything I can do to make my manhood bigger?
By E_mail

Dear Fatai,
Your penis is just about average size and any girl who cares about you will accept you as you are unfortunately, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to increase your manhood and the earlier you accepted this and make the most of the tool you have, the better for your future relationships. Believe me, there are men with much shorter ones leading a fulfilling love life.

Anyone who can say such hurtful remarks as your girlfriend doesn’t deserve you. Since she can’t accept the man you are, I would show her the door!

My man’s libido is low

Dear Bunmi,
I am in my late twenties and live with my boyfriend. We have a fairly good sex life but sex with him is not regular-about once a month or less. My problem is that I’ve never been faithful to any man in the past and he is no exception, though we have a son, I never feel guilty about betraying him and the lies I tell to go out. I’m only bothered because I believe that since his sex drive is low, he might not be as faithless as I am. Do you think he might be sleeping around too? That might make me feel better.

Dear Joy,
Have you ever tried to find out why you love sleeping around so much? Sleeping around is a self defeating quest for re-assurance that you’re sexually irresistible to the opposite sex yet having sex indiscriminately leaves you feeling empty and worthless or you wouldn’t be asking for help. Why don’t you have a word with your husband on how to make your love life more rewarding?

Don’t destroy your life by your sexual recklessness. AIDS is real and you have your child to think about.

My kids resent my mother-in-law

Dear Bunmi,
Every morning, I drop my two children with my mother-in-law as I’m in between house-helps. The problem is that, she’s so strict with them that they’re reluctant to stay with her. My husband refuses to interfere. How should I tackle her?

Dear Mabel,
Does the so-called strictness involve shouting, physical punishment or over zealous restrictions? If so, sit her down and explain firmly and politely that, while you’re grateful for her help, you don’t agree with some of her methods.

Explain what it is, you would prefer to happen and why: “When junior does something we disagree,” you might begin, “we refer to identify the action as naughty rather than tell him he is naughty,” or “We seldom raised our voices as we find it frightens him.1”

Don’t reject all your mother-in-law’s methods out off-hand as most youngsters could be right tearaways especially when their parents are not around. As long as rules are balanced with love and positive affirmation, your children would blossom.

Share your problems
and release your burden.
Write now to Dear Bunmi,
Vanguard Newspapers, P.M.B 1007, Apapa, Lagos


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