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Seduced by his dirty old dad

By Bunmi Sofola
Dear Bunmi,
I’ve been having hot sex with my boyfriend’s father and now I’m pregnant. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the father is. My boyfriend’s father lives alone and we paid him a visit some few weeks ago when he had his birthday. It was the first time I’d met him and he looked really matured and sophisticated. We got on really well and when my boyfriend wanted to go and fix a fault in his car, he pounced on me as soon as his back was turned.

The sex was amazing – he certainly knew how to please a woman. He told me he’d wanted me as soon as he clamped eyes on me. I was flattered. He was more than twice my age, yet I got on with him much better than I did with his son. We had sex as often as we could throughout our stay. We even made love in his room one night whilst my boyfriend slept his head off.

Back home, I seemed to have lost interest in my boyfriend – his love making didn’t do much for me. As soon as I got home, I sent my boyfriend’s dad a text but he didn’t reply. I’ve sent other texts with no luck. I’ve tried phoning him but his answering machine is always on. What shall I do about this baby, though the pregnancy hasn’t been confirmed.?

By e-mail.

Dear Christie,

Start by buying a pregnancy testing kit at the chemist and find out for sure if you are pregnant. If it’s positive, you need to think hard about whether this is the right time for you to be having a baby, giving that your relationship with your boyfriend is so precarious that you could jump into bed with someone else at the drop of a hat. You might think your man’s dad is hot, but he’s just shown himself up as a love rat, a selfish opportunist who takes sex where and when it’s available – not minding with whom.

Now that he’s shown you that it is the sex he wanted, not you, you need to forget about him. A man so unprincipled that he betrays his own son is bad news. It doesn’t bear thinking how his son would take all this if he got to know. I would be very cautious about who I get into bed with next time if I were you.

Could she break my heart again?

Dear Bunmi,

I’m in my early 60’s and very youthful, fit and forward looking; I’ve lived in my own house for over ten years. My wife died and the two children of the marriage are now happily married.

About three years after my wife died, I met this divorcee who was an assistant principal in a secondary school in my hometown. She was a lovely looking woman and encouraged my friendship. We met as often as we could and telephoned regularly.

Even though I made her believe I wasn’t loaded, I spent a lot of money on her and her two sons. It was then decided that she should ask for a transfer to Ibadan were I was based. To my utter surprise, she stopped any contact with me and when I went to her school, l was told she had resigned.

You can then imagine how amazed I was when I heard from her recently. She carried on as if nothing had happened, telling me she had to relocate because her ex-husband was deserting her. She told me none of her feelings have changed and would want to be with me for the rest of her life. She was definitely nice to have around when we had a relationship, but at my age, I don’t know if I want to go through the heartache she caused me the first time.
By e-mail

Dear Walter,

This woman of yours recognizes your vulnerability. A lot of lonely men would have responded to the fact that an attractive and apparently well-educated woman is interested in them. Who knows how many other men this schemer had strung along?

An unscrupulous person could ‘adopt many personalities to easily persuade an admirer to part with their hard-earned money. I bet for her, the temptation to take you for as much money as she did was hard to resist.

You obviously would have loved to share a stable relationship again and you should look closer at your surrounding as there are women all around who long for the friendship of a decent man like you. Instead of a fraudulent  long-distant lover, reach out for a more decent, down-to earth one.

Is my 7-yr-old daughter’s libido high?

Dear Bunmi,

Recently, I keep catching my daughter masturbating. The problem is she’s only seven years old! So far, I’ve just made a joke of it, telling her she should do so only in her bedroom as it is a private thing to do. Have I handled the issue well and is my daughter’s libido going to be uncontrollable in the future?
By e-mail

Dear Jare,
You should remember that your daughter doesn’t see what she is doing as a sexual thing. To her it is just a part of her body, which gives her pleasure just like some kids suck their thumb.

What you want to do is distract her with games, stories or treats. Don’t give her the impression that you think what she does, is dirty and wicked as this could affect her later on in life.

I’m sure when she finds other interests she’ll forget all about her ‘fiddling1!

My new boss is a

Dear Bunmi,
I’ve worked with a fairly big manufacturing company for three years and I’ve always enjoyed my job. Recently, work has been made miserable by this tyrant of a boss the firm just employed. Quite a few members of staff have left out of frustration and I am wondering if I should join them.

I am a computer expert and shouldn’t find alternate employment difficult. Only I thought I should complain about this man’s behaviour to a higher authority, or what do you think?

By e-mail

Dear Uju,
I wouldn’t complain about this new boss of yours unless he’s done something illegal, immoral or unprofessional. He must have been found competent by the authorities that employed him, and, for all you know; he might have been given the mandate to shake things  up a bit.

Why don’t you try to get on with him and find out what he really wants from you?

The situation may improve and you could be glad you stayed. However, don’t grit your teeth and stick things out in a miserable place if you are not really happy. No job is worth that.


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