In this interview, Bosede Olusola-Obasa, CEO, Royal Characters and Values Limited, RCV, a social capital development and management company, and convener, National Character Parenting Summit, speaks on the issue of gender-neutral parenting.

By Josephine Agbonkhese

IS gender-neutral parenting in any way beneficial to the society?

The answer will not be either yes or no in the sense that you need to give room for uniqueness; uniqueness to the point that you are not parenting in a way that neither of the sexes is at a disadvantage.

The reason why I would want to say yes to it is in terms of empowering the girl child. Over the years, she has been at a disadvantage due to some of the versions of trainings we have had before.

•Bosede Olusola-Obasa

Versions of trainings

What I would actually advocate for is a balance; knowing where to stop so that at the end of the day, it is not just about propagating that idea but about giving value. My point has always been having a generation that is an improvement on the previous.

In what ways will this idea bring an improvement on what our own experiences were? That I think should be the intention.

All we are saying today is that the girlchild growing into a woman should be able to play in any field without feeling  that sex is a disadvantage. That I stand for in totality.

Can this parenting style address gender disproportion in the sciences? Maybe from girls’ early exposure to scientific toys? 

The capacity of the girl-child did not just increase over night. It has always been there. It was just the idea that surrounded parenting as it used to be that hindered many girls. The brains of the girl and the boy child have always been suited for the best of experiences. There should be no boundaries for any child.

But again, it goes back to the parents’ ability to be around enough for you to notice what the gift, skills and everything about the child are. If a little girl takes to electrical for example, she should be encouraged in every way. There should be no limitation at all.  The fact that the woman has a physical body that is different from a man is just to meet that purpose. It has not made her less than a man in any way.

Have you any reservation about colour segregation for children?

I believe it is a western social orientation. There is nothing in our culture as Africans that makes a preference in term of colour for boy or girl. And even now, it is not every parent that takes to it. It goes back to the orientation of each parent and what you think it is doing for your child. The truth is, there are no boundaries any more even in dressing for adults. Men wear pink colored clothes, as well as a lot of other bright colours. That’s the vogue now.

I will pick a blue dress any day if it looks good on my girl without even having any consciousness to any thought. Also, I don’t think my son wearing a pink shirt is giving him femine orientation.

Talking about the older style of parenting, how hasn’t it augured well with us?

It hasn’t in terms of giving education to the girl child and giving her all the privileges. Today, if you look at the national assembly, the ratio of men to women tells you something; and it’s same in many fields. So far, this segregation has affected education, it has affected placements in the market place and has affected opportunities being taken up by women.