Dear Bunmi,

I’ve been with my fiancé for over three years and we have an adorable little boy. My problem is, I’ve never got turned on by my fiance, or any man, ever. Now, he’s upset because we haven’t had sex for months and I’m afraid of telling him why I’m off sex.

Love

Bimbo, By e-mail.

Dear Bimbo,

This really isn’t your fault. By the sound of it, you have what therapists call primary sexual dysfunction, so it’s very difficult for you to enjoy sex. Your best bet is to confide in your partner. He’ll find it much easier to sympathise and be supportive if he knows you have a problem, rather than thinking you’re rejecting him.

But you need to get help. See your doctor to rule out any medical problem.

He will then put you on to a therapist who will help you to get to the bottom of any emotional issues.