DearBunmi,

I started this affair early last year even though I am seemingly happy. I don’t want to  hurt my husband, but I need love and affection, and I’m not getting either from him. Only I’ve recently discovered that the guy I’m having an affair with is also seeing someone else, and I’m devastated. Should I carry on seeing him even though he’s cheating on me? Or dump him and stick with my husband?

Liza, bye-mail.

Dear Liza,

Can you really blame your lover for cheating? Like it or not, he’Nots just doing what you’re doing-cheating because he needs more from a relationship. Should you carry on seeing him? The thing is, if he’s already finding your relationship’s not enough for him, then he’s never going to truly care about you so I would dump him if I were you.

As for your husband, the ideal thing is to get things sorted out so you’re happy in your marriage. Why did you stray? What is he doing wrong? Cheating in a marriage is a sort of cry for help. You need to talk more with your husband and plan how to make your marriage the fulfilling relationship it once was.