Dear Bunmi,

Not too long ago, I started seeing a man who is handsome, loving, kind; in fact, everything I like in a man. I totally fell for him and was convinced we had a future together. We went out together and everything was fine.

Nothing sexual happened between us in the first couple of dates, apart from a few kisses on the check and a hug.

I was ready to take things a little further, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened the next time I saw him.
He parked the car at a quiet spot and begged me to give him oral sex.

I was shocked. I told him I’d rather get to know him better as we’d only been seeing each other a few weeks, and he got annoyed and upset.
I suggested we could do it another time, but now I’m not so sure. Do you think he’s trying to use me sexually?
Foluke, by e-mail
Dear Foluke,
It certainly sounds as though he is more interested in sex than in you as a person. Your reluctance to have your first intimate sexual encounter with him in the stuffy surrounding of a car is entirely understandable, especially as you hardly know the man.
Could he be married and not free to take you to his place? Cool things

down by telling him that you don’t feel ready for ANY sort of sex with him yet. If he cannot accept that and is not prepared to build up an emotional relationship with you first, he’s not the man for you.