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The Off-and-On Relationship

By Onozure Dania

A relationship has no hope if one partner keeps shutting down and stuffing their feelings inside. Men often don’t come with this skill of being truly open and bringing their deeper feelings to the surface, but if you are going to have a lasting relationship that is in any way fulfilling for you, then you  have to stop this pattern of your man shutting down.

He breaks up with you and you feel completely awful- until he contacts you and says he’s been “thinking” about things and wants to talk. You give him another chance, but then days or weeks later, he dumps you again. What’s going on here? Should you get back with him? Sometimes when things are going well in relationships, your own feelings get in the way. You are scared of getting hurt, or making a mistake.

You worry that he won’t care for your feelings or ultimately be there for you.

When he senses your fear, your problem of being vulnerable, your hesitance  it pushes him away. The more this happens, the worse you feel and the more you find yourself being off-center emotionally.

sex-pic5You hurt all over again, that’s why you need to learn how to handle these emotions so you aren’t the one who gets in the way of your relationship. You thought things were going well, but now he seems to want to spend more time away from you than with you. He calls less and is busier at work and with friends, there’s a right way to handle this so that you are brought closer together and he feels compelled to make you a top priority.

You need to master how to do this so you don’t unintentionally scare him away. You have something on your mind that you want to talk to your man about. It’s important, it’s serious, and it’s driving you crazy because you’re not sure whether or not you can share your feelings without scaring him away.

There are two critical pieces to this moment, how you share it so you get the best response, and how you use this opportunity to make sure he is capable of listening to your true feelings and receiving them in a mature way. How do you get him back? You can’t get him out of your mind and heart, and you want to know how to get him back. But you aren’t sure what to say or how to win his heart all over again.

 


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