A musket, according to Chambers Twentieth Century Dictionary, is a military hand firearm, particularly of an antiquated smoothbore kind. A musketeer, therefore, is someone, a soldier most likely, armed with a musket. Somehow, the President-elect, Maj. Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (rtd) and his party, the All Progressives Congress (APC), may be likened to musketeers using revenge mentality and threats of probe as muskets against opponents, especially members of the outgoing administration and African Independent Television (AIT).

This week, there was a story doing the rounds that Wole Soyinka had made derogatory remarks about Igbo people, that he said: that they “tend to put their votes where their stomachs take them” and suffer “from incurable money-mindedness” during his lecture at Harvard. All hell broke loose and the poor man was pilloried by readers of the story, a few people were cautious of the source and the content of the story but many threw insults and such language used, it would not be polite to repeat it in polite company

A sober look at life at some point will often reveal hidden truths, flaws, weaknesses and even good and positive sides. We all grow, we live, we love, we learn. Life is a teacher, it uses people, situations, our emotions to teach us; we may not always embrace the lessons but we learn them again and again till we make better choices. As a rule, I try not to waste my time on regrets, I do the best I can in any situation given the knowledge at my disposal, if I knew better then I would have done better! I process things differently from most people, I am often referred to as a free minded liberal without boundaries! I would love to deny the description as its not very flattering but a denial wont really be a true position. I would instead describe myself as a broadminded soul who has learnt to let people define their own boundaries without any help from me. I let people judge themselves by their actions and treat them in like manner. My world view is that an open mind and an open heart make for a joyous life.

I remember we saw him at Christmas and he was happy. He had become a man and I was so proud of him. He was just in his elements with music, learning beats, sharing with me all the new songs he created and all the new people he had met. He barely had the chance to begin his life before it was snatched from him. That’s my greater regret.

In marriage counselling, sometimes it looks like you are moving round in circles. The same issues crop up over and over again. This week I want to focus on some of these issues, based on recent experiences.