It sounds to me like your partner is going to have to make a decision about whether he can let this go or not. He might hate your past, and that’s okay, but bringing it up and resenting you for it is not helpful. In fact it is a complete waste of time as you cannot change the past. When your partner is resentful, it can make your relationship extremely challenging.

There’s no easy answer about when to act on your feelings. People take different amounts of time to move on from a relationship and it’s important for them to have this time before they move onto another relationship. You didn’t say how long he was with his ex, so it’s hard to tell how serious the relationship was. As a general rule, the longer the relationship, the longer the time it takes to get over those feelings and be ready to commit emotionally to a new relationship.

It sounds like you are feeling guilty for what you did. It must be hard to keep these feelings hidden from your boyfriend. We all make mistakes, and they can help us to learn about relationships. No one knows automatically how to be the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. Most adults are still trying to work it out! While you may be absolutely positive that you will not cheat on your boyfriend again, think about how you would feel if the situation were reversed. Would you want to know if your boyfriend had sex with someone else? Or how would you feel if you heard it from someone else?

But the wonderful thing about masturbation is that you can’t catch a disease from yourself (or we must already have the disease). Sexually transmitted infections (STI) have to be caught from someone who has the infection.

My husband gets a load of kicks from flirting with other women. For the eight years we’ve been married, I’ve watched him chat up women and had countless nights anxiously waiting for him to come home from his night-crawling. Now, after his last affair where his latest girlfriend insulted me to my face in his presence, I’ve decided I can no longer live with him.