I recently met with a young lady over a group lunch. Although I had not seen her in over a decade at least, I had no trouble recognizing her. Her small, almost delicate physique and her smiling face gave her away. Particularly her smiling face which struck me the first time I saw her. I wondered then as I did this time, if the smile ever left her face. But her smile is not the only thing unique about her. She has a first class brain as well. In fact, she had one of the best results in WAEC for West Africa during her time.

This fantastic result opened up a lot of career opportunities for her with scholarships thrown in for good measure. She however wanted to be a writer. Her parents and Uncle felt it would be ‘a waste’ and urged her to go for a more solid profession like medicine. This was when I was called in ‘to advise her’. I simply told her she could still write irrespective of whatever profession she chose and left having satisfied all concerned with my diplomatic suggestion. 

 When we met early in the new year, I found she had opted for medicine, finished in top grade, and had worked in two of the busiest hospitals in Lagos State. I also found she would be leaving for greener pastures soon having passed the required exams. I could only wish her well after reminding her of her desire to write and urging her never to allow the lure of money dictate her career moves. Less than a week later, two young ladies who are Lab Technologists told me they were leaving for the UK.

I hear that ever so often these days and I am more than used to it, yet, for some strange reason, I could not get these three young ladies out of my mind. These are young ladies who have obviously led sheltered lives. They are in their twenties and have what in my time, would have been considered very good jobs, good enough jobs to settle into matrimony and raise kids with. Yet, they were prepared to dump everything, including family, friends and a sequestered life, to brave the odds and start afresh – alone if necessary. I tried to analyse why I felt uneasy.

Part of it has to be in the over expectation many young people have about life in the Western World. It is certainly not as rosy as many believe. There is the cultural battle to fight; there is the system skewed in favour of the indigenes to struggle with; there is the glass ceiling to pierce; there is the disguised hostility of law enforcement agencies and the not so disguised hostility of indigenes to contend with. Then there is the colour of the skin which constantly reminds everyone that you are from African descent. All of these constitute an unfriendly environment at a time you need the elements to be in your favour.

All of these can lead to mental health issues for the unprepared. And many are unprepared. Another reason for my unease has to do with the mindset that there is nothing to wait for in Nigeria and that their lives would stagnate if not retrogress if they stayed. But perhaps the largest part of my unease is the lack of remorse. They are not in any way remorseful about turning their back on the nurturing that made them marketable to the outside world.

Instead, they try to justify their scramble for foreign lands by saying there is no hope again for Nigeria. They forget their aged parents and loved ones who will remain in the same hopeless country and could need them in old age. It is not easy to train a professional in many countries around the world with many paying their ‘Students’ Loans or grants’ far into adulthood. We subsidise professional education here. Many countries bond their students. We don’t. Yet there is no gratitude for this; no appreciation of it. Neither is there any thought to giving a little back to sustain the system – however broken- for the next generation.

How did ever get to this sorry pass? Late US President J.F Kennedy is credited for the famous quote ‘Think not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country’. I don’t know what led him to that statement. Could it be that Americans of that time had a feeling of entitlement? Of taking without giving? Whatever it was, the quote is timeless and applies to citizens of many countries especially Nigerians of today. We hear of many Nigerians doing well in other countries.

We ascribe it to the environment in which they found themselves. That may be true. But many of them had their primary, secondary, even tertiary education in Nigeria. Surely there should be some appreciation for that nurturing background? Surely Nigeria should also take some credit for the much touted ‘can do spirit’ of Nigerians in the diaspora? And if there is appreciation; if there is credit given to whomever credit is due, then there should be pay back.

Unfortunately, we take without a thought to giving. We milk without nourishing the source. What does one make of people who earn their money in Nigeria only to turn their backs on the country to live sumptuously abroad paying exorbitant taxes in the process? What does one make of Governors, Ministers, Public Servants who misappropriate public funds meant for education and health only to educate their offspring and treat themselves abroad?

While I can understand economic migration – every country goes through it in one form or another – what I cannot understand is the callous turning of back as if the country which gave birth and educated them has done nothing for them. What I cannot abide is the deliberate bleeding of the country by people who are supposed to infuse it with life-saving blood. What turns my stomach is the bad mouthing and de-marketing of their ancestral country by first generation emigrants.

There is so much skill, so much human and material resources that Nigeria should not be where it is today. What is lacking is the will, the pull to give something back. We enjoy the blame-game; blaming current and past leaders for our woes. But it is not down to the political leaders alone. We all have something to give.

We should start giving. It starts with our attitude towards Nigeria. Think not always what Nigeria can do for you. Think instead what you can do for Nigeria. The country can be transformed from the state it is now to the home we all want it to be. It is down to us and our willingness to be part of that transformation. The change starts with you as the cliché goes.