By Ebele Orakpo

“Nigerians don’t know a thing about nationhood,” said Mike this Monday afternoon as the debate on the new law against same-sex marriage raged.

“We are talking about a serious issue and you are talking about nationhood,” replied Iyke. “What has nationhood got to do with the present situation?” he asked.

“Why do you say that Mike,” asked Moses.

Said Mike: “Same-sex marriage is the least of your problems. This state of origin nonsense should stop if Nigeria really wants to progress. In developed countries, no one cares about that. Every Nigerian should be a Nigerian first and foremost before he is Hausa, Igbo, Kanuri, Yoruba or any other tribe. That is my point. In the US today, you are free to reside in any part of the country you so wish; no one bats an eyelid and no one calls you a settler or an indigene. After all, this is God’s earth. We brought nothing into it and definitely, we will take nothing out of it.”

“I agree with you Mike but we also need to tackle this same-sex issue or else, we become Sodom and Gomorrah. Haba! These guys have been doing their thing without harassment. But they brought the trouble on themselves. As the Hausas say: ‘Karambanin akuya, gai da kura (It was pure meddlesomeness of the goat that made him think he could greet the hyena without disaster’). Trouble started when they went to the National Assembly to demand for laws to back them up and most Nigerians said no,” stated Iyke.

“My gripe is the western world trying to dictate to us. Is Nigeria no longer a sovereign nation? Because of their stupid aid, they want to tell us how to live? It’s not done. Left to me, we should shove their aid down their throat,” said Iyke angrily.

“A word of caution here; we need them oo,” noted Moses.

Replied Iyke: “Nonsense! We need them as much as they need us. No man is an island. We all need one another so they should not behave as if we are nothing.

Mercy visibly infuriated said: “Is it not hypocrisy? If they are talking about human rights, why do they not allow men and women to marry as many wives and as many husbands as they wish? They frown at bigamy yet allow same-sex marriage. Tell me, which is a lesser evil? Why are they against drug barons, traffickers and addicts? Don’t they have a right to do what they do? They take this right thing too far. People have a right to drink; they have a right to drive so why are drunk drivers punished when they kill while driving or when caught driving under the influence of alcohol? It is said that ‘the right to swing your fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.’ Why must we turn nature upside down to suit some people?”

“Homosexuality is a disease and they should be helped instead of hounded,” said Francis.

“Likita Francis, when did it become a disease? It is just a bad habit formed mostly in girls- or boys-only schools and most practitioners outgrow it when they leave such environment. So we should not encourage them, it is an aberration,” said Nike.

“Homosexuals can do whatever they wish in private but not come out in the public to assault our sensibilities. Is it allowed for a man and a woman to come out publicly to have sex? There will be a public outcry. I read sometime ago in one of these western countries where a couple decided to get married in their birthday suit because they feel very comfortable in it. Were they allowed? No. Security agents were all over them in no time. They were covered with cloths and taken away from the venue of the ceremony. Why? Because it was not good for public consumption so why are they playing double standard? Anyway, if they say our leaders should not visit their countries, fine. We should look within. What will make us great is within us. They should mind their business. Is it every state in Europe and America that has legalised same-sex marriage? They should first remove the log in their eyes so they can see clearly to remove the speck from other people’s eyes,” concluded Nike.


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