By Ebele Orakpo
‘Ah! This life is full of ups and downs!” exclaimed Idowu in the Ikeja-bound commercial bus as he listened to the music of a popular female Igbo gospel artist coming from the sound system in the commuter bus.
“What’s the matter?” asked Tim.
“I heard the beautiful gospel artiste has left her husband. And she calls herself a Christian,” replied Idowu.
“She couldn’t have just left the man like that. Something must have gone wrong, assuming it is the truth anyway. There is no smoke without fire,” replied Tim.
“Sometimes there could be smoke without fire oo. When you yawn during cold season, smoke comes out of your mouth without fire,” said Funke.
“Hmm, I heard the man is a homosexual. That was why the woman had to leave,” offered Lois.
“Amebos! Rumour mongers! People will just sit down and manufacture stories about others. And the way they will tell it, you will almost swear that they witnessed first-hand what they were talking about. It makes me want to puke,” said Mercy.
Stated Nike: “Some people have perfected the art of gossiping. They will never mind their business. Even if she has left her husband, how is that their problem? Crying more than the bereaved.”
“Are you surprised? They have no job. They are idle so they must seek ways to be relevant,” said Funke.
“On a more serious note, they have gone their separate ways. The wife is now a Nollywood actress. You need to see the skimpy clothes she puts on in movies. You need to watch her and then you will understand what I am saying. The truth is that you cannot reconcile the two characters,” reported Idowu.
“Ha! Radio without station! Were you there? You talk so matter-of-factly as if you live under the same roof with them,” said Mercy in annoyance.
Not deterred by the verbal missiles he was receiving from other passengers, Idowu went on: “Didn’t you hear that the man was arrested by security agents that time the issue of homosexuality became a national issue when they wanted same-sex marriage legalised?”
“Arrested for doing what?” asked Mercy.
“For being a homosexual! If not for President Obama’s intervention, he would have been left to rot in jail,” said Idowu.
At this point, most of the passengers were laughing because the whole thing was no longer making sense.
Asked Abel laughing: “Come Oga, are you sure you are not suffering from malaria and typhoid?”
On hearing this, Idowu took offence. “I am telling you what is going on and you are asking me silly question,” he retorted.
Continued Abel: “I asked because only someone suffering from a severe bout of malaria will be saying what you are saying. Listen to yourself.
“One of these guys that sell OTC medicines in buses once said that if you dream where the President is serving you tea, then it’s time to treat malaria.”
Interjected Ojo who had been sitting quietly all the while: “But he is telling you the truth because I heard it too. Obama called GEJ on phone and asked him to release the guy.”
“Oh boy, this is getting serious. So Obama has nothing to do than to call GEJ to release someone that was never arrested in the first place? God have mercy. You guys are nuts, sorry to say. Í don’t know why people will not take time to investigate a story before running their mouths. It’s so pathetic!” said Abel.
“That is why they are Busybodies!” said Funke.