By Ebele Orakpo

This country is full of absurdities!” exclaimed Nick in the Ikeja-bound commercial vehicle, referring to the Police pension fund scam..“Are they telling us now that it pays to steal?”

“Of course! That’s the message. It seems it’s the most lucrative business in the country now. Steal billions and go to jail for a very short time with an option of fine and then go home and enjoy your loot or be foolish enough to steal little and you are sent to life jail,” said Iyke. “After all, the Igbos have a saying that he who eats frogs should eat a fatted one so that when he is called a frog eater, he will proudly answer.”

“Recently, a 26-year-old man was sentenced to death for stealing N1,705 and two rolls of peak milk sachets, valued at N400 at gunpoint,” said Uyi.

“Ehn, what do you expect? Na the gunpoint be the wahala now. This one robbed at penpoint not gunpoint. Gunpoint is very dangerous,” said Mercy. This elicited some laughter. (Cuts in Uyi) “Wait, e never finish o. Another was sentenced to six months imprisonment for stealing a goat and another to three years for stealing a phone; meanwhile, this one stole N23 billion belonging to pensioners and was given option of a fine.”

“Oh boy, e be like say thievery is very lucrative. I’ll go into that business,” said Abel.

“Robbery is not easy oo, so many risks are involved,” said Prince.

“No, I’ll not go for bend-down-select robbery but high-tech where you can sit in your cozy office and within two minutes, you’ve made billions. All you need is to be educated, smart and intelligent and not a dullard,” said Abel.

“Chei! Pension fund is supposed to be held in trust. I don’t blame the Judiciary but the pensioners. They are not serious. To be honest with you, if I were among them, we would have organised and kidnapped the sons of these rogues, and ensured we maimed them for life. We will tell them why we did so – because their fathers ruined us,” said Obi sounding really angry.

“That’s going too far. What have the children done?” asked Eno.

“It’s a pity but that is the only way we can get back at these heartless people,” replied Obi.

“The judge too should be dealt with. He must be seriously sanctioned for giving that kind of judgement,” said Nick.

“But that is the law for you, the judge ruled according to law or why do you think they say the law is an ass? It simply means stupidly and rigidly applying the law contrary to common sense,” argued John.

“Abeg, forget that. We follow the law when it suits us. Even if the Judge was working within the ambit of the law, he should have done better given the situation. Instead of the  two years with an option of fine of N750,000, he should have given him life jail without an option of fine because of the gravity of the offence.

For God’s sake, somebody has worked for upwards of 30 years, denying himself instant gratification, saving part of his meager salary so that when he retires, he can depend on his pension, and one fellow somewhere simply stole the money; wailahi, someone go meet the devil that day!” said Uche angrily.

“So if the masses did not cry out against this unjust judgement, the guy would have gotten away with it?” asked Obi.

“Wait a second, you guys are unbelievable!  You are cursing the Judge for giving him an option of fine but was that really all? Remember they had seized all the guy’s property worth billions of naira,” said Pat. “It seems we don’t read or listen with understanding. It’s not as if he was asked to pay N750,000 out of the N23 billion and then go and enjoy the rest. That will be gross injustice. I’m not holding brief for him anyway, just saying it the way it is,” stated Pat.