By Donu Kogbara
I’M on a bus in the United States at the moment, travelling from Washington to New York; and the ticket cost me next to nothing, but talk about value for money!

The bus is extremely comfortable and has internet facilities and little desks and power sockets attached to each seat, so that passengers can charge their phones, use their laptops and browse or send/receive emails.

When I travel, shopping for baubles is the least of my interests. What I really love is to explore foreign environments and chat to the people who inhabit them and learn as much as I can about different lifestyles, landscapes, cultures, etc.

However, almost every silver lining has a cloud attached to it; and my enjoyment of these trips to distant locations is considerably marred by the fact that my mind won’t let me have peace and allow me to totally forget about Nigeria while I’m wallowing in the sights, pleasures and fascinations I encounter elsewhere!

Wherever I go, I am inexorably drawn into comparing whatever I am seeing or experiencing with what prevails back home. And it has to be said that viewing the overseas world through a Naija prism is never an uplifting exercise.

Why?

Because Nigeria is one of the most disappointing places on the planet! Because we have abundant natural resources, many clever citizens and so much potential but have chosen to settle for crudity, corruption, mediocrity and failure.

Because although nowhere outside Heaven is perfect, nearly everywhere I’ve ever visited is better than Nigeria overall. Because the very few places that are worse than Nigeria are so rock-bottom-awful that there is no pride whatsoever to be derived from coming from a nation that is superior to such hellholes.

Anyway, dear Readers, I started this week’s column feeling quite cheerful and eagerly anticipating the journey ahead. But my mood has gradually changed.

As I am driven down a solid un-potholed American highway in a cosy high-tech American bus and pass countless modern American towns, well-tended American fields that look like pretty patchwork quilts and neat American factories that make lots of useful things, my heart is heavy and tears come to my eyes.

I yearn for a day when Nigeria will be like this.

Nasty thoughts

AN American professor friend of mine recently met a Nigerian professor neither of us know at an academic function on the West Coast and was very taken aback by a remark the Nigerian made.

The American had tried to strike up a conversation with the Nigerian by asking him how things were going in Nigeria. And he was expecting the Nigerian to either provide a short, polite, superficial response or an intellectual analysis.

But the Nigerian just angrily blurted out the following words: “The only solution to Nigeria’s problems would be to invite every single politician to a Town Hall Meeting in Abuja and then throw a bomb at the venue to wipe them all out!”

My American friend expected me to be as shocked as he was by what he described as “an extremely alarming reaction.” But I shrugged and told him that I wasn’t remotely surprised because I’ve heard several Nigerians making this kind of comment about Nigerian politicians over the years.

Most Nigerians bow and scrape in front of governors, ministers, local government chairmen, etc. But it’s all eye service based on the fact that these guys control the economy and will, as a general rule, only dish out patronage to those who kiss their feet.

If anyone requires evidence that political praise-singers are being utterly insincere, you need look no further than the shabby treatment they mete out to these VIPs when they are eventually toppled from their powerful perches.

And you know what? While I think it unhealthy for people to have nasty thoughts about their fellow human beings and while I acknowledge the fact that some Nigerian politicians are decent, most Nigerian politicians are bad and largely responsible for the venom that is directed at them behind their backs and should ask themselves why so many of their compatriots hate them so much.

Unpatriotic? Thoughts

Last night in Washington, a fellow Nigerian accused me of having an unpatriotic mindset because I frequently criticise Nigeria. I don’t know about you, but I don’t define a patriot as someone who sweeps rubbish under the carpet and makes positive remarks about seriously bad situations purely to be “loyal.”

 To me, a REAL patriot is someone who identifies a problem that is undermining the nation’s wellbeing and image…and keeps making noise about the problem until it is solved.