By Bunmi Sofola

Isn’t it amazing how some people rejoice widely when their perceived enemies die? Some years back, when I was still an eight-to-five staff of a financial institution, I was in the office when I heard these peals of laughter coming from a colleague in the next office. I hurried to investigate and found him clinging to a friend of his, both screaming their heads off with glee. “What happened,” I asked excitedly, “did you win something?”

My colleague had the grace to-look sheepish. “You know that chap I told you who snatched my friend’s wife? Well, he’s dead!” I was shocked. This man’s wife had been with him for close to 15 years after successive wives had moved out of his home. She’d taken care of the children she ‘inherited’ along with the ones she had for her husband. In the years they were married, she’d had to take in two more children fathered by her husband and abandoned by their mother. She finally reached the end of her tethers when a third child was brought in by the man. She started planning a clean get-away.

“She works in a bank,” my colleague had told me when she finally made her escape. “Because of this Saturday banking innovation, the bank’s driver was always coming for her every Saturday. What her gullible husband didn’t realize was the fact she was exempt from working most Saturdays.

So, the lover made a uniform similar to the bank’s for his driver, and the driver would now come for the wife under the pretext of taking her to work, without her husband suspecting she was going to her lover’s house. The man is a widow and my friend was away at a lodge’s seminar in another town when this gold digger of a wife came with two lorries to cart away her belongings. I was one of the welcoming party when she came to my friend as a wife – all she had then were two unimpressive looking suitcases. Now, she’s graduated into the league of using professional house-movers!”

Unfortunately, after being with the man for less than 10 years, he died. “Madam, that’s what we call nemesis”, her jubilating ex told me. “What’s so pathetic is that he died on top of her!” How melodramatic can you get?’  “How did you know?”, I asked him.

“His eldest son is a young member of our lodge and he doesn’t care for his step-mother. It was through him that we learnt my ex phoned through to his brother in the middle of the night that their dad had died suddenly. When they eventually got to the house, she was fully dressed but the poor man had the sheets covering his body. He was naked under the sheet! The shameless woman told them their dad had a massive heart attack..”

As I left for lunch, the ecstatic ex was still busy working my colleague’s official phone, calling all his friends with the ‘good news’. Obviously, there is nothing like ‘respect for the dead’ when your enemy dies. But, jubilating is taking revenge a bit . too far”

The older you are, the more beneficial your intake of alcohol?!

Consumption of alcohol is one of the topics that’ll forever be on the front burner.
Just when you think you’ve nailed the right in-take to give you that feel-good lift you need and still keep you from kealing over with a terrible liver disease, up comes a flurry of research telling you you could either take more, or less! Now, it’s been said that the science of ageing, though still in its infancy could up your intake of safe – booze’ It’s part of vital regimes you need to adopt to stay healthy!

Experts from research into ageing have sniffed the evidence and come up with advise they think will stand the test of time. They have now produced a book that answers the most frequently asked questions about exercise, diet and mental agility, based on the most rigorous research currently available.

Here are the scientists’ 10 top tips on how to thrive past 55: Take more exercise: Studies have shown that exercise deficiency is the biggest risk we face as we get older. Most of us are simply not taking enough exercise to stay well. Exercise not only make us feel fitter, younger and more alert, but also prevents many of the disabling conditions we associate with later life.

Give up smoking: Smoking is the biggest single risk to your health after inactivity. It’s not just heart and lungs that are at risk. Smoking will slow down your rate of healing, which is bad news if you need an operation or injure yourself.

It’s important to keep socially and mentally active: Having a strong network of family and friends and lots of purposeful activity is vital to our health as we grow older. Keep on challenging the grey matter. Brain power can last as long as we do but appears to work best when it’s fully stretched.

Drink more water: Many of us are slightly dehydrated, which not only interferes with digestion, (leading to constipation, for example) and other processes, but also fogs up the brain. Alcohol and Cafferin are diuretic- however, you still take in more liquid than you lose from a cup of tea, coffee or Cola-type soft drink.

Get outdoors as often as possible: Exposure to light, especially sunshine, is vital for our body clocks and our vitamin D Levels. Lack of vitamin D makes development of the bone disease Osteoporosis more likely. Getting outdoors is important for social reasons, too – It keeps us in touch with the world.

Make sure you eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables: These are nature’s anti-ageing remedy, protecting us from many of the diseases we associate with later life.

If you drink alcohol, then little and often will do you the most good: Studies have shown that people who regularly drink small amount of alcohol tend to live longer than teeto-tallers, because alcohol helps prevent coronary heart disease. However, this protection is only significant once man pass the 40 milestone and women pass the menopause. The maximum health benefits then come from drinking between one and two units of alcohol a day.

Make your home safe: Clear your home of things that can trip you up. Increase the level of lighting everywhere, especially of the stairs – you should have 400 watts in every room. Have gas and electrical appliances installed or checked by a qualified person.

See your doctor when you’re ill: Don’t put up with health problems or assume nothing can be done because of your age. Age is more the cause of illness than youth is the cause of chicken pox. We are entitled to good health care at any age – including a second opinion. See the dentist and optician regularly.

Be positive: This doesn’t just give us a rosier view of life, but also gives our immune system a lift. Every day, spend 20 minutes focused on a really uplifting thought or memory – you will feel better and your immune system will get a boost.

Be positive about your wants and needs too. Studies have shown that longevity appears to be linked to a determination to stay in control.